My husband calls me a hippie. I did the whole homebirth by hypnosis thing, I'm a vegetarian (worse, a vegan for a year), and we've been using reusable diapers upon my insistence.
He may have a point.
I just can't see myself as a hippie, because I remember the city-dwelling, cigarettes, vodka and nightclubs me that I was as a teen and an undergrad. But, I guess I am at a minimum on the National Hippie Association's mailing list these days.
Tipping the scales in favour of my husband's argument, I've switched to reusable wipes. Yes, yes, the environment played a pretty good role in this decision. But there were some other factors too.
1) I was becoming increasingly concerned about what chemicals I was exposing my daughter to. We were buying the most granola of the disposable wipes that we could find, but they always felt chemical-y. I was also concerned about what pesticides and fertilizers were used to grow the cotton used to make the wipes, that would not need to be listed in the ingredients.
2) Farmer's ran a commercial warning of the dangers of lint fires. In all the excitement of keeping flailing feet away from a butt coated in poop, we were frequently throwing the disposable wipes into the laundry with the reusable diapers, thus sending them through a washing/drying cycle. The disposable wipes aren't designed for much other than disposing, so frequently disintegrated in the drier. This made me worry about how much lint was building up somewhere in the bowels of our drier.
3) Economics. Pretty much the same argument as given for reusable diapers, so I'll let Google fill in this one!
Off I went to make me some reusable wipes. If you want to really hit the economic gain, you can cut up old t-shirts, flannel sheets, or receiving blankets. However, we didn't really have any of these to spare, so I opted to buy reusable wipes from Amazon. After all, Amazon supplied me with the Bummis diapers that were far cheaper than other reusable diaper sets. I guess I could have bought old t-shirts from Goodwill, but who has the time?
I looked online for wipes recipes. Most called for a mixture of water, baby oil and baby soap. The suggestion was to make this up in a spray bottle and spritz individual wipes as needed.
Are you mental?
I have a newborn. Haute couture spritzed wipes are for people who have lots of free time on their hands. I folded 20 or so wipes into a tuperware container, dumped the mixture on them, and looked forward to the smug satisfaction that comes with doing hippie things like reusing baby wipes. All was well until the third day of using the wipes. During a change, I opened the tupperware wipes container, and the smell competed with the one in my daughter's diaper. Evidently, the recipe I was using did not afford me any antibacterial protection for my wipes.
I visited the hippie mecca of baby stores, Cradle in Northampton, and picked up a bottle of "MotherHerb Make Your Own Wipes Solution Concentrate" (basically a blend of Tea Tree and Lavender oils). It calls for 20 drops to a couple of cups of water, and does prevent anything from getting stinky. However, I didn't feel it had the same cleaning power than my previous mixture had. So, I have come up with my hybrid recipe.
My Reusable Wipes Recipe
To a flat sandwich tupperware, I add about 3 cups of water.
Then I squirt in about 2 tablespoons each of Johnson's Baby Oil and Johnson's baby bath.
I add 20 drops/1 ml of baby wipe solution.
I shut the container tightly, shake it about until all is mixed and the soap is bubbly.
I add 20-30 folded wipes slowly until all the mixture is absorbed, et voila, enough wipes to last about 3 days... and no stinkiness!
Sep 3, 2011
Dear Daughter: Five Months
Dear Vivienne,
I can't believe my little girl is already five months old. It doesn't seem like a big age, but looking back at your earlier photos, your newborn days seem an eon ago. This month it has been evident that you are definitely not a newborn anymore! You are so active and alert, and you have been extremely interested in the world around you. It's amazing how much you have changed in this relatively short time. So many of the things you found comforting, interesting or funny no longer work anymore. For instance, you used to think it was hilarious to have me tease you with your pacifier, now you look at me with confusion and ennui when I do that.
That's not to say that you don't find things funny. I am so happy that my little girl is filled with mirth. You find fart noise hilarious, you respond to being tickled or repetitively kissed on your tummy with loud bouts of laughter. You are also such a smiley and generally happy girl. When you wake up at night, you rarely let me know you're awake or hungry by crying. Instead you trust that I will awaken of my own accord, and keep yourself amused in the meantime. When I come over to the bassinet to pick you up, I am greeted by a huge smile. Coming home in the evenings is also a huge pleasure. You had been giving me huge smiles in previous months, which you still do. But now, it's even sweeter, because you reach out to me, and give me a big kiss on my cheek. Your method of kissing is to open your mouth wide and deposit saliva onto my face, but it's adorable, and I love how affectionate you are becoming.
Your sweetness has now extended into your nightly routine. You were never a "fussy" baby, but recently, putting you to bed has become my favourite part of the day. After I change you, read you a story, and perhaps nurse you, we lie on my bed holding hands and smiling at each other until you fall asleep. It's such a peaceful and beautiful bonding experience for us at the end of each day. I know it's not healthy to believe one's child is truly perfect, but as I gaze at you after you have just fallen asleep, I am at a loss to find anything imperfect about you. However, ask and ye shall receive, as they say. We've had a definite roller-coaster with your sleeping this month. Earlier in the month, you hit the "4 month regression". Nana Mary says there is no such thing, but as I am walking you around the bedroom at 5am for the third straight hour, I would beg to differ. Thankfully, while stubbornly refusing to sleep, you are happy and playful, just at a terrible time of the day. Whoever said of parenting "The days are long but the years are short", neglected to mention that the nights can be long too!
This month, we have had a lot of outings. We have twice gone swimming with the "Peeps and the Little Peeps" (Riley's Mommy's name for our pregnancy group). We went to the Ludlow pond with Sean and his parents. I managed to get your toes into the water before you protested enough that I took you back to the beach. Our second swimming trip, this time to the Chicopee State Park, was much more of a success. In between the two trips I had found a inflatable car with matching canopy for you to paddle in. You were so busy gnawing at the handle like a beaver that you didn't seem to mind being in the water! We also played in the shallow water together (without floating distractions), and you managed to get a fistful of sand into your mouth.
We also have taken a lot of trips with Nana Mary. I think her favourite has been to the Bridge of Flowers. I was thrilled to discover that you will now let me carry you in a wrap. I was able to do so when you were tiny, but as you became more alert, you hated facing inward. Now you are big and strong enough to turn yourself and look outwards. That said, your interest in the Bridge of Flowers was nothing compared to how much you enjoyed the next day's outing to the mall. Let me tell you now, I will not allow you to be some loitering mall rat in your teen years, so I suggest you learn to love the outdoors.
Up until recently, you and the cats enjoyed a mutual disinterest in one another. However, you are now fascinated by them, and seem hellbent on grabbing them by the fur, something I doubt they will enjoy. I've been trying to teach you how to pet a cat, but that involves watching both your little hands like a hawk for signs of a fist-forming motion. The lessons are usually curtailed by the cats excusing themselves.
I think babies are meant to double their weight in six months, but always advanced you did it in five! You now weigh 19lbs and 7 oz; no wonder Nana's back is giving out. As you have been nursed exclusively until very recently, I am not concerned that their is any obesity in that weight, just proof of what a healthy girl you are. I say recently, because now that I am back at work, I have to pump milk to bring home to you. Expressing milk has been very successful, however, I am not able to keep up with your appetite. With Mommy;s milk alone, you were eating up to 30 ounces while I was at work, whereas I was happy to express 20! So, much to my chagrin, we have supplemented you with formula! Speaking of nursing, you are breaking your Mama's heart (a claim I will no doubt make numerous times throughout your life). As part of your desire to explore the world and see all their is to see, you refuse to nurse during the day anymore. You also refuse to be held while being bottle-fed, so we sit you in a chair and feed you like a hamster. It's pretty cute, actually. And thankfully, you cheerfully nurse at night, so we still have our time to bond.
As Nana spends such a large amount of time with you during the weekdays, I thought you'd like to hear from her this month too:
Dear Vivienne Marie
I have deferred writing this letter because you have kept me so busy
looking after you - a total joy for me, I might add - but also because
writing it meant that I was coming near the end of my stay with you.
You are now five months and almost three weeks old! I shall be going
back to England with Grandpa Nick on Monday and my heart breaks at the
thought of leaving you.
But what a month it was! When I arrived you were just three months
and 13 days old; an infant really and I was almost scared of holding
you in case you would break! You were a fine, healthy baby but a baby
nonethless and it had been some time since I had cared for such a
little creature.
At four months, however, you seemed to take a leap forward, almost
literally. You were already rolling over from back to tummy but now I
saw this done vice versa (I think you'd done it for Mom already) and
still more exciting, you began to try to crawl. Each day we had
'tummy time' where you would go on your tummy and I would hold you up
to help you get the idea of crawling. Although you never quite made
it forwards in this month, you did manage to move backwards;
frustratingly for you, this meant moving AWAY from whatever toy I had
put out for you as an enticement.
You also moved about much more in my arms, on the floor, in your
rocker, in your pushchair. Indeed, such was your movement in your
pushchair that I was scared you could propel yourself out the front of
the stroller if I didn' take good care to watch you! As the month
progressed, you became able to sit on your own on the floor (though I
was ready to support you, if needs be). You loved your new Dr Death
chair because it allowed you to swivel about to play with your toys
and towards the end of the month you also sat in your little suspended
chair which allowed you to turn about and view what was going on in
the kitchen AND the playroom. You allowed me to prepare some meals
for your mom and dad and you were never unhappy. If you got a little
fed up with something, a cuddle from me always fixed it. I can
honestly say (without offending your mom or your Uncle Ben) that I
have never met such a pleasant and happy little baby.
You developed your other motor skills too. The xylophone was a daily
pleasure for us and you played it lustily on one occasion banging out
doh ray me (or it may have been me ray doh). Whatever, it was a huge
pleasure for me to hear you play. You also turned the pages of your
books with great facility (something your darling Mom taught you) and
you were now able to take off each one of your stacking rings and
often to replace one or two of them on the stacker too!
You showed huge interest in everything; from the little mobile above
your swing (and the musical one in your crib) to the smell of herbs
which we nose tested together, to the feel of cold water on your hand
from the tap to the sights and sounds in the garden and on our
increasingly longer walks. One thing you didn't bother with however,
except when you were bored and/or sated, was holding your bottle. Why
bother when you had a willing slave (two when grandpa Nick arrived) to
do it for you? Together we survived an earthquake and later (with Mom
Dad and Grandpa Nick) a hurricane.
The development that was perhaps most exciting for me was your newly
discovered love of 'language'. Despite my persistent inability to
remember the sign language we learnt for you last month, you seemed
really to understand when I offered more bottle or told you I was
going to change your nappy. And the 'words' you spoke were like the
sweetest symphony to my ears. There was one day when we went to
Walmart with your Dad and you made loud 'AAAAAHHHH; sounds all the way
around. These were perhaps a comment on Walmart? Then another day
you would say 'bub' or 'ba' and one magical day it seemed to me that
you were repeating the A and B and even M sounds I made to you. How I
loved talking to you. We could spend half an hour or more at a time
repeating sounds to each other and I know you are going to be an early
talker - another sign of what I think will be your formidable
intelligence. Keep talking my darling and as long as I am around I
will always listen. Your voice is one of the sweetest memories I will
bring back to England with me. Yes, including the screaming sounds
you learnt to make at around five months!
Your Mom has written about our trip to the Bridge of Flowers and the
lake at Chicopee, and I will always treasure those memories, but for
me, the sweetest times were when it was just you and me. Your ready
smile when you woke from your sleeps; the kisses you began to give me,
the foot massages I gave you, yourlaughter when I sang 'Ai ai the beat
is crazy/Zucko, zucko is everywhere....' I love that you love and are
amused by words and songs.
When Grandpa Nick arrived you were five months old and the dynamic
between us changed as you welcomed another man into your life. You
took to Grandpa Nick as he did to you. Our walks became longer (he
could carry the stroller over rugged terrain on the way to Big Y) and
you laughed at the silly faces he made and the silly voices he put on
for your entertainment. It was a great help to me too, because by now
you were 20 lbs and VERY heavy to carry. But you know what? I didn't
care that my back was sore and my knees didn't allow me to get up so
quickly from the floor when I changed your diaper. The bond you have
allowed me to make with you my most precious granddaughter is one that
will never be broken and if, when I return, you don't quite remember
me, still there will always be an invisible bond between us because of
the time I was privileged to spend with you when you were growing
faster than perhaps you ever will; and learning faster too.
You are now longer an infant; you are a five (and a half) month old
baby girl now and you are lucky to have such a wonderful mom and dad
to take care of you. But even they haven't shared what we have had
and the memory of our time together will live with me (and yes, wilth
you too, even if only as a kind of body memory). For me, it has been
one of the most precious times of my life and I will never forget it
or stop loving you, my most beloved granddaughter. May you continue to
journey happily and safely through life.
With all my love, always,
Nana xxxxx
PS you started not to want to sleep in your swing and the second pic
shows us both taking a nap together on the bed in the basement (after
grandpa Nick's arrival)
I love you Princess,
Mum xxx
I can't believe my little girl is already five months old. It doesn't seem like a big age, but looking back at your earlier photos, your newborn days seem an eon ago. This month it has been evident that you are definitely not a newborn anymore! You are so active and alert, and you have been extremely interested in the world around you. It's amazing how much you have changed in this relatively short time. So many of the things you found comforting, interesting or funny no longer work anymore. For instance, you used to think it was hilarious to have me tease you with your pacifier, now you look at me with confusion and ennui when I do that.
That's not to say that you don't find things funny. I am so happy that my little girl is filled with mirth. You find fart noise hilarious, you respond to being tickled or repetitively kissed on your tummy with loud bouts of laughter. You are also such a smiley and generally happy girl. When you wake up at night, you rarely let me know you're awake or hungry by crying. Instead you trust that I will awaken of my own accord, and keep yourself amused in the meantime. When I come over to the bassinet to pick you up, I am greeted by a huge smile. Coming home in the evenings is also a huge pleasure. You had been giving me huge smiles in previous months, which you still do. But now, it's even sweeter, because you reach out to me, and give me a big kiss on my cheek. Your method of kissing is to open your mouth wide and deposit saliva onto my face, but it's adorable, and I love how affectionate you are becoming.
Your sweetness has now extended into your nightly routine. You were never a "fussy" baby, but recently, putting you to bed has become my favourite part of the day. After I change you, read you a story, and perhaps nurse you, we lie on my bed holding hands and smiling at each other until you fall asleep. It's such a peaceful and beautiful bonding experience for us at the end of each day. I know it's not healthy to believe one's child is truly perfect, but as I gaze at you after you have just fallen asleep, I am at a loss to find anything imperfect about you. However, ask and ye shall receive, as they say. We've had a definite roller-coaster with your sleeping this month. Earlier in the month, you hit the "4 month regression". Nana Mary says there is no such thing, but as I am walking you around the bedroom at 5am for the third straight hour, I would beg to differ. Thankfully, while stubbornly refusing to sleep, you are happy and playful, just at a terrible time of the day. Whoever said of parenting "The days are long but the years are short", neglected to mention that the nights can be long too!
This month, we have had a lot of outings. We have twice gone swimming with the "Peeps and the Little Peeps" (Riley's Mommy's name for our pregnancy group). We went to the Ludlow pond with Sean and his parents. I managed to get your toes into the water before you protested enough that I took you back to the beach. Our second swimming trip, this time to the Chicopee State Park, was much more of a success. In between the two trips I had found a inflatable car with matching canopy for you to paddle in. You were so busy gnawing at the handle like a beaver that you didn't seem to mind being in the water! We also played in the shallow water together (without floating distractions), and you managed to get a fistful of sand into your mouth.
We also have taken a lot of trips with Nana Mary. I think her favourite has been to the Bridge of Flowers. I was thrilled to discover that you will now let me carry you in a wrap. I was able to do so when you were tiny, but as you became more alert, you hated facing inward. Now you are big and strong enough to turn yourself and look outwards. That said, your interest in the Bridge of Flowers was nothing compared to how much you enjoyed the next day's outing to the mall. Let me tell you now, I will not allow you to be some loitering mall rat in your teen years, so I suggest you learn to love the outdoors.
Up until recently, you and the cats enjoyed a mutual disinterest in one another. However, you are now fascinated by them, and seem hellbent on grabbing them by the fur, something I doubt they will enjoy. I've been trying to teach you how to pet a cat, but that involves watching both your little hands like a hawk for signs of a fist-forming motion. The lessons are usually curtailed by the cats excusing themselves.
I think babies are meant to double their weight in six months, but always advanced you did it in five! You now weigh 19lbs and 7 oz; no wonder Nana's back is giving out. As you have been nursed exclusively until very recently, I am not concerned that their is any obesity in that weight, just proof of what a healthy girl you are. I say recently, because now that I am back at work, I have to pump milk to bring home to you. Expressing milk has been very successful, however, I am not able to keep up with your appetite. With Mommy;s milk alone, you were eating up to 30 ounces while I was at work, whereas I was happy to express 20! So, much to my chagrin, we have supplemented you with formula! Speaking of nursing, you are breaking your Mama's heart (a claim I will no doubt make numerous times throughout your life). As part of your desire to explore the world and see all their is to see, you refuse to nurse during the day anymore. You also refuse to be held while being bottle-fed, so we sit you in a chair and feed you like a hamster. It's pretty cute, actually. And thankfully, you cheerfully nurse at night, so we still have our time to bond.
As Nana spends such a large amount of time with you during the weekdays, I thought you'd like to hear from her this month too:
Dear Vivienne Marie
I have deferred writing this letter because you have kept me so busy
looking after you - a total joy for me, I might add - but also because
writing it meant that I was coming near the end of my stay with you.
You are now five months and almost three weeks old! I shall be going
back to England with Grandpa Nick on Monday and my heart breaks at the
thought of leaving you.
But what a month it was! When I arrived you were just three months
and 13 days old; an infant really and I was almost scared of holding
you in case you would break! You were a fine, healthy baby but a baby
nonethless and it had been some time since I had cared for such a
little creature.
At four months, however, you seemed to take a leap forward, almost
literally. You were already rolling over from back to tummy but now I
saw this done vice versa (I think you'd done it for Mom already) and
still more exciting, you began to try to crawl. Each day we had
'tummy time' where you would go on your tummy and I would hold you up
to help you get the idea of crawling. Although you never quite made
it forwards in this month, you did manage to move backwards;
frustratingly for you, this meant moving AWAY from whatever toy I had
put out for you as an enticement.
You also moved about much more in my arms, on the floor, in your
rocker, in your pushchair. Indeed, such was your movement in your
pushchair that I was scared you could propel yourself out the front of
the stroller if I didn' take good care to watch you! As the month
progressed, you became able to sit on your own on the floor (though I
was ready to support you, if needs be). You loved your new Dr Death
chair because it allowed you to swivel about to play with your toys
and towards the end of the month you also sat in your little suspended
chair which allowed you to turn about and view what was going on in
the kitchen AND the playroom. You allowed me to prepare some meals
for your mom and dad and you were never unhappy. If you got a little
fed up with something, a cuddle from me always fixed it. I can
honestly say (without offending your mom or your Uncle Ben) that I
have never met such a pleasant and happy little baby.
You developed your other motor skills too. The xylophone was a daily
pleasure for us and you played it lustily on one occasion banging out
doh ray me (or it may have been me ray doh). Whatever, it was a huge
pleasure for me to hear you play. You also turned the pages of your
books with great facility (something your darling Mom taught you) and
you were now able to take off each one of your stacking rings and
often to replace one or two of them on the stacker too!
You showed huge interest in everything; from the little mobile above
your swing (and the musical one in your crib) to the smell of herbs
which we nose tested together, to the feel of cold water on your hand
from the tap to the sights and sounds in the garden and on our
increasingly longer walks. One thing you didn't bother with however,
except when you were bored and/or sated, was holding your bottle. Why
bother when you had a willing slave (two when grandpa Nick arrived) to
do it for you? Together we survived an earthquake and later (with Mom
Dad and Grandpa Nick) a hurricane.
The development that was perhaps most exciting for me was your newly
discovered love of 'language'. Despite my persistent inability to
remember the sign language we learnt for you last month, you seemed
really to understand when I offered more bottle or told you I was
going to change your nappy. And the 'words' you spoke were like the
sweetest symphony to my ears. There was one day when we went to
Walmart with your Dad and you made loud 'AAAAAHHHH; sounds all the way
around. These were perhaps a comment on Walmart? Then another day
you would say 'bub' or 'ba' and one magical day it seemed to me that
you were repeating the A and B and even M sounds I made to you. How I
loved talking to you. We could spend half an hour or more at a time
repeating sounds to each other and I know you are going to be an early
talker - another sign of what I think will be your formidable
intelligence. Keep talking my darling and as long as I am around I
will always listen. Your voice is one of the sweetest memories I will
bring back to England with me. Yes, including the screaming sounds
you learnt to make at around five months!
Your Mom has written about our trip to the Bridge of Flowers and the
lake at Chicopee, and I will always treasure those memories, but for
me, the sweetest times were when it was just you and me. Your ready
smile when you woke from your sleeps; the kisses you began to give me,
the foot massages I gave you, yourlaughter when I sang 'Ai ai the beat
is crazy/Zucko, zucko is everywhere....' I love that you love and are
amused by words and songs.
When Grandpa Nick arrived you were five months old and the dynamic
between us changed as you welcomed another man into your life. You
took to Grandpa Nick as he did to you. Our walks became longer (he
could carry the stroller over rugged terrain on the way to Big Y) and
you laughed at the silly faces he made and the silly voices he put on
for your entertainment. It was a great help to me too, because by now
you were 20 lbs and VERY heavy to carry. But you know what? I didn't
care that my back was sore and my knees didn't allow me to get up so
quickly from the floor when I changed your diaper. The bond you have
allowed me to make with you my most precious granddaughter is one that
will never be broken and if, when I return, you don't quite remember
me, still there will always be an invisible bond between us because of
the time I was privileged to spend with you when you were growing
faster than perhaps you ever will; and learning faster too.
You are now longer an infant; you are a five (and a half) month old
baby girl now and you are lucky to have such a wonderful mom and dad
to take care of you. But even they haven't shared what we have had
and the memory of our time together will live with me (and yes, wilth
you too, even if only as a kind of body memory). For me, it has been
one of the most precious times of my life and I will never forget it
or stop loving you, my most beloved granddaughter. May you continue to
journey happily and safely through life.
With all my love, always,
Nana xxxxx
PS you started not to want to sleep in your swing and the second pic
shows us both taking a nap together on the bed in the basement (after
grandpa Nick's arrival)
I love you Princess,
Mum xxx
Jun 28, 2011
Dear Daughter: Four Months
Dear Vivienne,
What a great month this has been! You have made some serious leaps and bounds in development. You're making great strides in rolling this month. One morning early in the month, you rolled from your back to your front while we were hanging out in bed together. I'm not counting it as the first official back to front roll, because you were lying on an incline (caused by Mom's weight depressing the mattress... *ahem*). Nevertheless, I was really proud of you, and you seemed quite chuffed with yourself too! Since then, you have done bona fide rolls all one your own! From what I understand, most babies roll from their fronts to their backs first. However, you so loathed tummy-time until very recently that I doubt we'll see that maneuver for a while. Besides, you have such great muscle strength that I am not worried. Nowadays, as a refreshing alternative to screaming, you use your tummy-time to practice crawling. Nana predicts that it won't be long before that happens. You've become really good at taking the pacifier out of your mouth, and you've started trying to pick it up and put in back into your mouth. You definitely know what it involves, but it needs some fine tuning, though you have had a few successes to date. It's very tempting for me to do it for you, but it's important to let you learn, so I resist the urge. You are grabbing everything: toys, bottles, necklaces, blankets. The world has definitely caught your attention as something that needs to be explored, and you love standing up to look around, touching anything you can get your hands on, and best of all, putting things into your mouth.
My very favourite thing about this month has been your laughter. The first time I heard you laugh, I was playing This Little Piggy with you. We'd played it before, but this time you cracked up laughing. It was the best sound I have ever heard in my life. However, you are no simpleton, and things do not amuse you multiple times, so I have to find new ways of eliciting your laughter. Nana has made you laugh too, and agrees that there is no sweeter sound.
You have gotten a lot better in the car. I still don't take you anywhere that involves more than ten or twenty minutes of driving without someone else in the car, but when you have company, you do really well. We were able to take you all the way to Parsippany. NJ, for the 2011 Star Trek convention. You were a definite hit with the other nerds, and you won a $25 gift certificate for dressing up as a Star Trek Voyager ensign. We've also done lots of traveling with our Mom's group this month. We went to the mall, the Springfield museums and our first trip to the zoo. You are so alert these days that it is a lot of fun to take you places (on previous outings you invariably fell asleep as soon as we left the house).
This month has been a little hard on me, as I am back to work full time now. Before Nana arrived, you went to daycare three days a week, and I was working part time. I really miss our four-day weekends together. However, as much as I miss you, I am happier leaving you at home with Nana than sending you to daycare. To be fair, your daycare minder, Maria, is wonderful. She commented that you have the most advanced cognitive and motor skills she's seen in a baby your age. However, she is nothing compared to all the love and attention you are getting from Nana. She is just in love with you, and you have taken to her in a huge way. She's making a huge effort to read to you, sing to you, hold you, and give you everything you need. When I get home she's generally exhausted, but also delighted to get this time with you. I am very nervous about how hard it's going to be for her to leave you in September.
You're getting so big! Last month we took the sling out of your bath, and you outgrew the bassinet, so you've been sleeping in the pack'n'play. This month I packed away all the 7-15 lb diapers; you're officially in the large diapers. We had your four month check up and you weighed in at 17lbs, and 26.5"!!! You've almost doubled your weight in four months, as opposed to the average six. I'm not surprised. With Nana, you were getting through up to 30oz of milk during the workday alone!
Everyone notices what a perfect baby you are. You are rarely fussy, always smiling and extremely engaged in the world around you. Adding to your perfection is the fact that you are about the cutest thing I have ever seen. We documented that cuteness by having our friend, Kristin, around to do a photo shoot. She is an amazing photographer, and we we got loads of wonderful pictures of you. We're going to have at least one framed for your nursery. Luckily, you have managed to keep our feet on the ground by fussing occasionally, and usually with good cause, such as having just received and immunization shot. Also, you were the spit-up queen until recently, but I have noticed a definite improvement on that front. I had gotten used to going to work with white splotches down one or both shoulders. It doesn't bother you in the slightest, in fact I sometimes think you enjoy waiting until I've left the house without a burp cloth before coating both yourself and me in curdled milk. Speaking of conspiracy theories, you definitely wait for your diaper to be changed before pooping. This happens so frequently that I usually have two clean diapers beside me for each changing, and once I have changed you the first time, I sit and wait to hear the tell-tale sounds letting me know I need to change you again!
For the entire time you've been alive, I have made ridiculous expectations of myself as a mother. I feel guilt any time I place you down, even on your playmate which is good for your mental development, or your swing when you need to take a nap. I think I am a terrible mother whenever I take the time to check emails, or catch myself wishing that you would nap for a couple more minutes so that I can finish my lunch. I've also come to the conclusion that I need to retract my promise to not worry too much. I worry all the time. I worry about things that might happen now, things that could happen in the future, and these worries cover the full spectrum of eventualities. I have come to the conclusion that motherhood is a specific type of hypervigilance disorder. So, I replace the former promise with the promise to do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy, and to make your life the very best I can. And of course, to love you with all my heart.
I love you, Princess,
Mum xxx
What a great month this has been! You have made some serious leaps and bounds in development. You're making great strides in rolling this month. One morning early in the month, you rolled from your back to your front while we were hanging out in bed together. I'm not counting it as the first official back to front roll, because you were lying on an incline (caused by Mom's weight depressing the mattress... *ahem*). Nevertheless, I was really proud of you, and you seemed quite chuffed with yourself too! Since then, you have done bona fide rolls all one your own! From what I understand, most babies roll from their fronts to their backs first. However, you so loathed tummy-time until very recently that I doubt we'll see that maneuver for a while. Besides, you have such great muscle strength that I am not worried. Nowadays, as a refreshing alternative to screaming, you use your tummy-time to practice crawling. Nana predicts that it won't be long before that happens. You've become really good at taking the pacifier out of your mouth, and you've started trying to pick it up and put in back into your mouth. You definitely know what it involves, but it needs some fine tuning, though you have had a few successes to date. It's very tempting for me to do it for you, but it's important to let you learn, so I resist the urge. You are grabbing everything: toys, bottles, necklaces, blankets. The world has definitely caught your attention as something that needs to be explored, and you love standing up to look around, touching anything you can get your hands on, and best of all, putting things into your mouth.
My very favourite thing about this month has been your laughter. The first time I heard you laugh, I was playing This Little Piggy with you. We'd played it before, but this time you cracked up laughing. It was the best sound I have ever heard in my life. However, you are no simpleton, and things do not amuse you multiple times, so I have to find new ways of eliciting your laughter. Nana has made you laugh too, and agrees that there is no sweeter sound.
You have gotten a lot better in the car. I still don't take you anywhere that involves more than ten or twenty minutes of driving without someone else in the car, but when you have company, you do really well. We were able to take you all the way to Parsippany. NJ, for the 2011 Star Trek convention. You were a definite hit with the other nerds, and you won a $25 gift certificate for dressing up as a Star Trek Voyager ensign. We've also done lots of traveling with our Mom's group this month. We went to the mall, the Springfield museums and our first trip to the zoo. You are so alert these days that it is a lot of fun to take you places (on previous outings you invariably fell asleep as soon as we left the house).
This month has been a little hard on me, as I am back to work full time now. Before Nana arrived, you went to daycare three days a week, and I was working part time. I really miss our four-day weekends together. However, as much as I miss you, I am happier leaving you at home with Nana than sending you to daycare. To be fair, your daycare minder, Maria, is wonderful. She commented that you have the most advanced cognitive and motor skills she's seen in a baby your age. However, she is nothing compared to all the love and attention you are getting from Nana. She is just in love with you, and you have taken to her in a huge way. She's making a huge effort to read to you, sing to you, hold you, and give you everything you need. When I get home she's generally exhausted, but also delighted to get this time with you. I am very nervous about how hard it's going to be for her to leave you in September.
You're getting so big! Last month we took the sling out of your bath, and you outgrew the bassinet, so you've been sleeping in the pack'n'play. This month I packed away all the 7-15 lb diapers; you're officially in the large diapers. We had your four month check up and you weighed in at 17lbs, and 26.5"!!! You've almost doubled your weight in four months, as opposed to the average six. I'm not surprised. With Nana, you were getting through up to 30oz of milk during the workday alone!
Everyone notices what a perfect baby you are. You are rarely fussy, always smiling and extremely engaged in the world around you. Adding to your perfection is the fact that you are about the cutest thing I have ever seen. We documented that cuteness by having our friend, Kristin, around to do a photo shoot. She is an amazing photographer, and we we got loads of wonderful pictures of you. We're going to have at least one framed for your nursery. Luckily, you have managed to keep our feet on the ground by fussing occasionally, and usually with good cause, such as having just received and immunization shot. Also, you were the spit-up queen until recently, but I have noticed a definite improvement on that front. I had gotten used to going to work with white splotches down one or both shoulders. It doesn't bother you in the slightest, in fact I sometimes think you enjoy waiting until I've left the house without a burp cloth before coating both yourself and me in curdled milk. Speaking of conspiracy theories, you definitely wait for your diaper to be changed before pooping. This happens so frequently that I usually have two clean diapers beside me for each changing, and once I have changed you the first time, I sit and wait to hear the tell-tale sounds letting me know I need to change you again!
For the entire time you've been alive, I have made ridiculous expectations of myself as a mother. I feel guilt any time I place you down, even on your playmate which is good for your mental development, or your swing when you need to take a nap. I think I am a terrible mother whenever I take the time to check emails, or catch myself wishing that you would nap for a couple more minutes so that I can finish my lunch. I've also come to the conclusion that I need to retract my promise to not worry too much. I worry all the time. I worry about things that might happen now, things that could happen in the future, and these worries cover the full spectrum of eventualities. I have come to the conclusion that motherhood is a specific type of hypervigilance disorder. So, I replace the former promise with the promise to do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy, and to make your life the very best I can. And of course, to love you with all my heart.
I love you, Princess,
Mum xxx
May 31, 2011
Dear Daughter: Three Months
Dear Vivienne,
It's already been three months since you came into our lives. We've been quite busy as a family this month. You in particular have been very busy, because on top of all the places I take you, and activities we enjoy, you're growing and developing at an amazing pace. You continue to be more and more alert, and you have also started chatting and telling little stories, which I could listen to all day long.
You've started grabbing at things and exploring the tactile world around you. Your favorite things to explore at the moment are knitted blankets and t-shirts with bright and contrasting colours. You've also started sucking on your hands, and on occasion you do so while bringing knitting blankets to your face. Your mother was a proud "blankie" owner, and it seems like you will carry on that tradition! You are extremely alert, and you have taken a particular interest in gazing into mirrors. I love staring at you too, so I understand the appeal!
A big change for us has been my return to work. Until Nana Mary gets here at the start of July, I am only working 3 days a week, and you are attending daycare. Your minder, Marie, is wonderful and you are getting great reports on what a happy and lovely baby you are. However, you did have one rough day last week. This was because you got your second round of vaccinations, and I (having missed you all day) allowed you to stay up too late. I made sure to get you to bed on time that night, and you did brilliantly the next day.
The cats are still largely apathetic to your presence. They don't come to you, nor do they run away from you. If you are being particularly loud, or you make a sudden noise, they simply get up and walk out of the room in protest. The latter particularly applies to Buttons, who is a big fan of his peace and quiet. The only indication resentment from the cats has been the destruction of some papers I wanted to keep for you. I collected all my prenatal medical records and birthing class materials that I thought might be fun for you to look through some day. I left them in a box in the basement while I rounded up other documents, such as greeting cards from your baby shower. I walked into the room where I had stored the box, only to be overpowered by the stench of cat pee! I prayed that they had peed on anything else in that room, but I had a sinking feeling that I knew what the urinary target had been. I was able to salvage a few things at the bottom of the box, but the majority was destroyed. The cats have been summarily banned from that room, and many people have suggested that this was no accident, but rather a vendetta!
Unlike the cats, your Uncle Ben was delighted by your arrival. He came to spend a week with us and he loved getting to know you. He was wonderful in taking care of you and you really took to him. We visited New Hampshire with Ben, and he fired some guns with your Grandpa. His visit was timed after his initial training with the British Army, and the start of basic training, so your Grandpa's guns probably paled in comparison to the assault rifles he'd been shooting the week before! Ben was absolultey in love with you, and we are looking forward to many visits as you grow up!
This month marked you and your Dad's first Father's Day together. You bought him a "World's Best Dad" mug, and you wrote him a nice little card. Your handwriting looked a lot like your Mom's this month! I dressed you in a KU T-Shirt that was a gift from people your Dad knows, and you posed for pictures with your Dad. I know he was thrilled to have a little KU fan greet him with pancakes when he came home from Tennis.
We have continued to meet with the mother's group, and we had our official reunion. We took an adorable picture of all the babies in a big circle on the floor. You and one of the other babies, Connor, held hands all the way through the photo shoot, and kept looking over at one another and even tried to roll to one another. His mother and I joke that he was your little boyfriend!
We've now started another month (you're so active I am finding it hard to get these letters written on time!), and you are already making great achievements for me to write about. I am so proud of you, and so very in love with you. I've said it before, but I don't know how on earth I am so lucky that I get to be your Mom.
I love you,
Mum.
It's already been three months since you came into our lives. We've been quite busy as a family this month. You in particular have been very busy, because on top of all the places I take you, and activities we enjoy, you're growing and developing at an amazing pace. You continue to be more and more alert, and you have also started chatting and telling little stories, which I could listen to all day long.
You've started grabbing at things and exploring the tactile world around you. Your favorite things to explore at the moment are knitted blankets and t-shirts with bright and contrasting colours. You've also started sucking on your hands, and on occasion you do so while bringing knitting blankets to your face. Your mother was a proud "blankie" owner, and it seems like you will carry on that tradition! You are extremely alert, and you have taken a particular interest in gazing into mirrors. I love staring at you too, so I understand the appeal!
A big change for us has been my return to work. Until Nana Mary gets here at the start of July, I am only working 3 days a week, and you are attending daycare. Your minder, Marie, is wonderful and you are getting great reports on what a happy and lovely baby you are. However, you did have one rough day last week. This was because you got your second round of vaccinations, and I (having missed you all day) allowed you to stay up too late. I made sure to get you to bed on time that night, and you did brilliantly the next day.
The cats are still largely apathetic to your presence. They don't come to you, nor do they run away from you. If you are being particularly loud, or you make a sudden noise, they simply get up and walk out of the room in protest. The latter particularly applies to Buttons, who is a big fan of his peace and quiet. The only indication resentment from the cats has been the destruction of some papers I wanted to keep for you. I collected all my prenatal medical records and birthing class materials that I thought might be fun for you to look through some day. I left them in a box in the basement while I rounded up other documents, such as greeting cards from your baby shower. I walked into the room where I had stored the box, only to be overpowered by the stench of cat pee! I prayed that they had peed on anything else in that room, but I had a sinking feeling that I knew what the urinary target had been. I was able to salvage a few things at the bottom of the box, but the majority was destroyed. The cats have been summarily banned from that room, and many people have suggested that this was no accident, but rather a vendetta!
Unlike the cats, your Uncle Ben was delighted by your arrival. He came to spend a week with us and he loved getting to know you. He was wonderful in taking care of you and you really took to him. We visited New Hampshire with Ben, and he fired some guns with your Grandpa. His visit was timed after his initial training with the British Army, and the start of basic training, so your Grandpa's guns probably paled in comparison to the assault rifles he'd been shooting the week before! Ben was absolultey in love with you, and we are looking forward to many visits as you grow up!
This month marked you and your Dad's first Father's Day together. You bought him a "World's Best Dad" mug, and you wrote him a nice little card. Your handwriting looked a lot like your Mom's this month! I dressed you in a KU T-Shirt that was a gift from people your Dad knows, and you posed for pictures with your Dad. I know he was thrilled to have a little KU fan greet him with pancakes when he came home from Tennis.
We have continued to meet with the mother's group, and we had our official reunion. We took an adorable picture of all the babies in a big circle on the floor. You and one of the other babies, Connor, held hands all the way through the photo shoot, and kept looking over at one another and even tried to roll to one another. His mother and I joke that he was your little boyfriend!
We've now started another month (you're so active I am finding it hard to get these letters written on time!), and you are already making great achievements for me to write about. I am so proud of you, and so very in love with you. I've said it before, but I don't know how on earth I am so lucky that I get to be your Mom.
I love you,
Mum.
May 10, 2011
Dear Daughter: Two Months
Dear Vivienne,
It seems like only yesterday that you arrived, but two months have passed already. I can't believe that over two thirds of my maternity leave are already done. You and I have been quite busy this month, so I guess time flew because we were having fun.
Your personality is coming through quite a bit. You are as stubborn as a mule where car seats, being dressed, and swaddling are concerned. I finally got around to doing the "Baby's First* Handprint" that I bought before you were born. I had pictured a idyllic scene of mother and child capturing moments in time together, as opposed to the nightmare that transpired of you screaming and crying, kicking me in the face with an ink covered foot, and refusing to unfurl your hand. In the end, I got a nice foot print, and chose the best of about twenty amorphous smears for your handprint.
Despite being stubborn, you are also extremely sweet. You have started smiling, and your perfect little smile makes my day. Most recently, when we're in bed in the nursery, you stare over my shoulder with such wonder at the monkey decals and smile at them. I'm sure that we picked the right theme for decoration when I see how much enjoyment you get out of them. I should mention that this is usually at midnight, because, unlike your Centering Pregnancy friends, you refuse to sleep until 1am. That said, you've recently started sleeping for seven hours at a time, which makes me very happy! I'm less thrilled about your daytime napping. You don't do much of it, and what little you do must occur in my arms, a baby carrier, or moving stroller. If I so much as think of sitting down or placing you in a bassinet so that I can eat or shower, your eyes spring open and the nap is over. However, with less than a month of bonding time left, I'm happy to give you all the cuddles you need!
As well as being sweet, you are not very fussy at all. In fact, you fuss so little that I (a neurotic worrier) became convinced you had SIPA. A spot of Googling later, and I learned that your ability to sweat means that you do no have SIPA (hence that "A"). Your father was amused that I was complaining that you don't fuss enough!
Your physical development is continuing to amaze me. Last month, you were holding your head up for as long as you wanted (something you should be starting to achieve this month!), and wowing everyone with your alertness. This month we noticed that your legs are strong enough to allow you to stand when held for balance. Your eyesight has improved enough to allow you to enjoy your crib mobile and play-mat, which in turn has allowed my ability to eat and shower to improve!
This month, we've taken a number of trips to friends houses, shopping centers, nature preserves, and spent time outdoors close to home. I've really tried to stimulate your learning by showing you different things, but you have no idea that we've ever left the house because you can't seem to stay awake in Moby wraps or strollers.
As well as leaving the house, we've had many visitors to the house. Your Great-Grandmother, Grandfather, Step-Grandmother ("Scranny") and Uncle Sam have all spent time with us, and they're all in love with you. Between the smiles and lack of fussiness, you've been the perfect little hostess. Next month, Uncle Ben and your Nana will be visiting! It's been so wonderful having people I love come to help out. I've especially loved having so many generations of my family under one roof. I hope it's the first of many visits from our family.
This month was also my first Mother's day. You gave me a darling little card, and your handwriting looks suspiciously similar to your Father's. It was so momentous for me to be a mother, as I have longed to be for so many years, on Mother's day. I am still so overwhelmed by how lucky I am that I get to be your Mummy. I am more in love with you than I would have thought possible. Thank you for being my daughter.
Love,
Mum xxx
* = this better be the last time anyone is forcefully taking your fingerprints, Young Lady!
It seems like only yesterday that you arrived, but two months have passed already. I can't believe that over two thirds of my maternity leave are already done. You and I have been quite busy this month, so I guess time flew because we were having fun.
Your personality is coming through quite a bit. You are as stubborn as a mule where car seats, being dressed, and swaddling are concerned. I finally got around to doing the "Baby's First* Handprint" that I bought before you were born. I had pictured a idyllic scene of mother and child capturing moments in time together, as opposed to the nightmare that transpired of you screaming and crying, kicking me in the face with an ink covered foot, and refusing to unfurl your hand. In the end, I got a nice foot print, and chose the best of about twenty amorphous smears for your handprint.
Despite being stubborn, you are also extremely sweet. You have started smiling, and your perfect little smile makes my day. Most recently, when we're in bed in the nursery, you stare over my shoulder with such wonder at the monkey decals and smile at them. I'm sure that we picked the right theme for decoration when I see how much enjoyment you get out of them. I should mention that this is usually at midnight, because, unlike your Centering Pregnancy friends, you refuse to sleep until 1am. That said, you've recently started sleeping for seven hours at a time, which makes me very happy! I'm less thrilled about your daytime napping. You don't do much of it, and what little you do must occur in my arms, a baby carrier, or moving stroller. If I so much as think of sitting down or placing you in a bassinet so that I can eat or shower, your eyes spring open and the nap is over. However, with less than a month of bonding time left, I'm happy to give you all the cuddles you need!
As well as being sweet, you are not very fussy at all. In fact, you fuss so little that I (a neurotic worrier) became convinced you had SIPA. A spot of Googling later, and I learned that your ability to sweat means that you do no have SIPA (hence that "A"). Your father was amused that I was complaining that you don't fuss enough!
Your physical development is continuing to amaze me. Last month, you were holding your head up for as long as you wanted (something you should be starting to achieve this month!), and wowing everyone with your alertness. This month we noticed that your legs are strong enough to allow you to stand when held for balance. Your eyesight has improved enough to allow you to enjoy your crib mobile and play-mat, which in turn has allowed my ability to eat and shower to improve!
This month, we've taken a number of trips to friends houses, shopping centers, nature preserves, and spent time outdoors close to home. I've really tried to stimulate your learning by showing you different things, but you have no idea that we've ever left the house because you can't seem to stay awake in Moby wraps or strollers.
As well as leaving the house, we've had many visitors to the house. Your Great-Grandmother, Grandfather, Step-Grandmother ("Scranny") and Uncle Sam have all spent time with us, and they're all in love with you. Between the smiles and lack of fussiness, you've been the perfect little hostess. Next month, Uncle Ben and your Nana will be visiting! It's been so wonderful having people I love come to help out. I've especially loved having so many generations of my family under one roof. I hope it's the first of many visits from our family.
This month was also my first Mother's day. You gave me a darling little card, and your handwriting looks suspiciously similar to your Father's. It was so momentous for me to be a mother, as I have longed to be for so many years, on Mother's day. I am still so overwhelmed by how lucky I am that I get to be your Mummy. I am more in love with you than I would have thought possible. Thank you for being my daughter.
Love,
Mum xxx
* = this better be the last time anyone is forcefully taking your fingerprints, Young Lady!
May 3, 2011
Three Years in the Failing
Sad news. I failed in my challenge to make 10 knitted or crocheted items from 10 books in 1000 days. I just checked the timer on my blog's homepage and realized that it ended somewhat unceremoniously yesterday*. Oops. I got to within 1 project of success when there were 48 days left. I chose to make a pair of socks using the 8 Stitches per Inch Socks pattern by Ann Budd. This was more than enough time to finish a pair of socks, at least now that I have learnt how to do continental knitting. However, as I was coming to the end of my pregnancy, I needed to prioritize my knitting, and a patchwork blanket I was making for my daughter was more important. As it happens, I didn't get the blanket completed before the baby arrived, but my attempts to do so caused me to fail in my 10 things challenge. The socks are now on hiatus, but the blanket it almost complete. If my daughter enjoys the blanket, I will consider it a sacrifice worth making and wait until the next knitting challenge to see success.
*It was yesterday when I started composing this post.
*It was yesterday when I started composing this post.
Apr 20, 2011
Dear Daughter: One Month
Dear Vivienne,
A month ago you came into our lives. I've already documented the amazing experience that was your birth, and everything since then has been equally amazing. After you arrived at home, we went by ambulance to the hospital. At a mere 15 minutes old, you had started breastfeeding, and I knew you were going to be an advanced baby. We spent one night in the uncomfortable and sterile hospital room, with constant interruptions and some painful heel pricks for you. But you were happy as soon as they were done, and we got to take you home the next day with top marks for your health.
The next two nights were rough to say the least. We hadn't yet figured out each other's rhythms, and I wasn't swaddling you because I thought it was cruel to restrain your arms at night. Also, my milk hadn't come in and as a 9lb 7oz baby, you weren't getting what you needed from colustrum. On the third night, my milk had come in, and I swaddled you, and you went from howling all night, to sleeping so long that I had to wake you for feeding. The next day we all felt like a million bucks, and although we had always loved you, we now had the energy to enjoy you too.
Your sleeping success hit a snag when you went through your three week growth spurt. It felt like someone had taken my lovely, non-fussing baby away and replaced her with a rapacious locust. For about four days, you nursed constantly, spat up and cried. I was close to my wit's end, but after googling growth spurts, I felt better about it as a normal stage of development. Last night, you fed for a few hours before going asleep, but then slept for 5 hours so I feel confident that we are getting back to normal.
Speaking of Google, I am reminded that I need to apologize for failing to meet my promise to keep the neurotic worrying to a minimum. I have spent much of the last month worrying about every little thing you do, and turning to Google, WebMD, TheBump or other resources to assure myself that you are perfectly healthy. I won't begin to list the various conditions that I have convinced myself you are suffering from, but I am happy to say that you are in perfect health, and as time has progressed I am feeling more confident about my parenting skills' ability to keep you that way. I should mention that we have had our first family trip to the emergency room. I bumped your head as I was walking through a doorway. I panicked and called the pediatrician, but as it was close to midnight the answering service sent us to the ER. You were alert, nursing and showing no unusual signs, so the doctor diagnosed me as being a first-time mom. He also advised your Dad against uttering the words, "I told you so." Smart doctor!
Moms are always biased, so I will share other people's opinions of you instead. We've been told over and over that you have perfect features. Your head has a beautiful shape and your skin has a lovely tone. This is likely owing to the speed at which you were born, meaning you didn't get subjected to "molding" or the other injuries of childbirth. You have been incredibly alert compared to babies your age, and lots of people have commented on that. Your Nana Mary has availed of your alertness via daily Skype conversations and loves how responsive you are. We've also chatted with your Granddad, Step-grandmother, Uncles Sam and Ben, and Summer the puppy online. I've tried to spend your active time reading books and listening to classical music. Your Dad thinks I am silly, but I want you to have the best start, and it's a better use of my time than watching Desperate Housewives reruns on Netflix.
You have begun to show signs of smiling. You gave your Dad a huge beaming smile, but that was when you were only a couple of weeks old so no one believes us. I saw it, so I know it was more than gas. Since then you have smiled at the ceiling fan, your Dad some more, the monkey decals in your bedroom, and your musical elephant toy. No smiles for Mom as of yet, but I am your patient servant!
You have had a number of visitors already. Your Great-grandmother was the first to stay at the house, and you two got along so well that your father and I were able to spend some time together and run errands. Your next visitor is your Grandfather and Uncle Sam who are coming over from Ireland tomorrow. Then, Uncle Ben hopes to come visit but we have to see how his Army training schedule goes. Finally, Nana Mary is going to stay with us for a couple of months after my maternity leave ends so that you don't have to go to daycare too early. We also had a playdate with the Moms and babies from the centering pregnancy group I attended. We're going to make a regular meeting of it, and it was wonderful getting to show you off, and to meet my friends' little babies.
Although it has only been a month, I still can't believe you are here. I was warned by many mothers, including my own, how wholly and completely I would fall in love with you, but they failed miserably to describe fully the intensity of the love that comes with motherhood. I find myself spending large amounts of time gazing at you like and idiot. I really have become fascinated by this perfect little life that I have here, and how my purpose has become to keep your life as perfect as possible. Despite the sleep-deprivation, being pooped, peed and vomited on, and being omitted from the smiling, this last month has been the best of my life. I have loved getting to know you and I can't wait to see you and your personality grow. Thank you for letting me be your Mom.
I love you, Princess,
Mum
A month ago you came into our lives. I've already documented the amazing experience that was your birth, and everything since then has been equally amazing. After you arrived at home, we went by ambulance to the hospital. At a mere 15 minutes old, you had started breastfeeding, and I knew you were going to be an advanced baby. We spent one night in the uncomfortable and sterile hospital room, with constant interruptions and some painful heel pricks for you. But you were happy as soon as they were done, and we got to take you home the next day with top marks for your health.
The next two nights were rough to say the least. We hadn't yet figured out each other's rhythms, and I wasn't swaddling you because I thought it was cruel to restrain your arms at night. Also, my milk hadn't come in and as a 9lb 7oz baby, you weren't getting what you needed from colustrum. On the third night, my milk had come in, and I swaddled you, and you went from howling all night, to sleeping so long that I had to wake you for feeding. The next day we all felt like a million bucks, and although we had always loved you, we now had the energy to enjoy you too.
Your sleeping success hit a snag when you went through your three week growth spurt. It felt like someone had taken my lovely, non-fussing baby away and replaced her with a rapacious locust. For about four days, you nursed constantly, spat up and cried. I was close to my wit's end, but after googling growth spurts, I felt better about it as a normal stage of development. Last night, you fed for a few hours before going asleep, but then slept for 5 hours so I feel confident that we are getting back to normal.
Speaking of Google, I am reminded that I need to apologize for failing to meet my promise to keep the neurotic worrying to a minimum. I have spent much of the last month worrying about every little thing you do, and turning to Google, WebMD, TheBump or other resources to assure myself that you are perfectly healthy. I won't begin to list the various conditions that I have convinced myself you are suffering from, but I am happy to say that you are in perfect health, and as time has progressed I am feeling more confident about my parenting skills' ability to keep you that way. I should mention that we have had our first family trip to the emergency room. I bumped your head as I was walking through a doorway. I panicked and called the pediatrician, but as it was close to midnight the answering service sent us to the ER. You were alert, nursing and showing no unusual signs, so the doctor diagnosed me as being a first-time mom. He also advised your Dad against uttering the words, "I told you so." Smart doctor!
Moms are always biased, so I will share other people's opinions of you instead. We've been told over and over that you have perfect features. Your head has a beautiful shape and your skin has a lovely tone. This is likely owing to the speed at which you were born, meaning you didn't get subjected to "molding" or the other injuries of childbirth. You have been incredibly alert compared to babies your age, and lots of people have commented on that. Your Nana Mary has availed of your alertness via daily Skype conversations and loves how responsive you are. We've also chatted with your Granddad, Step-grandmother, Uncles Sam and Ben, and Summer the puppy online. I've tried to spend your active time reading books and listening to classical music. Your Dad thinks I am silly, but I want you to have the best start, and it's a better use of my time than watching Desperate Housewives reruns on Netflix.
You have begun to show signs of smiling. You gave your Dad a huge beaming smile, but that was when you were only a couple of weeks old so no one believes us. I saw it, so I know it was more than gas. Since then you have smiled at the ceiling fan, your Dad some more, the monkey decals in your bedroom, and your musical elephant toy. No smiles for Mom as of yet, but I am your patient servant!
You have had a number of visitors already. Your Great-grandmother was the first to stay at the house, and you two got along so well that your father and I were able to spend some time together and run errands. Your next visitor is your Grandfather and Uncle Sam who are coming over from Ireland tomorrow. Then, Uncle Ben hopes to come visit but we have to see how his Army training schedule goes. Finally, Nana Mary is going to stay with us for a couple of months after my maternity leave ends so that you don't have to go to daycare too early. We also had a playdate with the Moms and babies from the centering pregnancy group I attended. We're going to make a regular meeting of it, and it was wonderful getting to show you off, and to meet my friends' little babies.
Although it has only been a month, I still can't believe you are here. I was warned by many mothers, including my own, how wholly and completely I would fall in love with you, but they failed miserably to describe fully the intensity of the love that comes with motherhood. I find myself spending large amounts of time gazing at you like and idiot. I really have become fascinated by this perfect little life that I have here, and how my purpose has become to keep your life as perfect as possible. Despite the sleep-deprivation, being pooped, peed and vomited on, and being omitted from the smiling, this last month has been the best of my life. I have loved getting to know you and I can't wait to see you and your personality grow. Thank you for letting me be your Mom.
I love you, Princess,
Mum
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