A Stimulating Workout Plan

I am so depressed and worried by this economic climate. I feel like every time I turn on the TV, be it the news, a commercial, or even prime time programming, an inordinate number of sentences start with the phrase "In this economic downturn...". I actually heard someone say "This is the worst economic climate we've ever been in" on the Chelsea Lately Show!! I'm also heartbroken on a daily basis by stories of people losing their homes, their jobs or having to watch their small businesses fail by no fault of their own. It's scary, it's depressing and above all, it's aggravating.

What I know about economics would fit into a thimble, probably leaving ample room for an index finger. But from what I have gathered, this whole global mess of lost jobs, homes and general financial security can be pin-pointed to the actions of a handful, when compared to the global population, of people. My understanding (and don't bother correcting me; if endless hours of BBC World News didn't get it into my head, you won't fair better in 2,000 characters or less), is that money was lent between banks, and the "toxic assets" didn't out to be very good pieces of collateral. Now the whole banking community is re-enacting And Then There Were None. I get it. If you're stuck on an island with six people and a corpse, you likely won't want to go explore the creaky mansion alone with one of your suspicious companions. But you are going to have to do so eventually. The only question is "When?" Do you stay in the relative security of the drawing room as your supplies (or in the economic version, jobs) are whittled away until you have absolutely no choice. Or do you man up and volunteer to reconnoitre before you reach that point?

I know I am a good mixture of simplistic and misinformed on this issue, but I feel like the various steps to recovery are inevitable, and we could all just decide to do it faster and get back to stability sooner. One thing we all keep hearing about is "Consumer Confidence". It's usually positioned, in a delicious twist of irony, after doom and gloom statements about people losing all their savings or the Dow Index acting like lead balloon. But, essentially, the take home message is if we all throw caution to the wind and indulge in a little retail therapy, everything will recover. What the heck??? The whole complex world of finance can be reduced to the plot of Elf? Are you kidding me?

Well, spending money has never been too much of a problem for me. My father always joked that I had an allergy to money, which led me to get rid of it as soon as possible. In more recent years, I have attempted to be better with my personal finances, and while I am successful about staying out of the red, I don't often foray to far into the black either. With a reasonable postdoc salary (compared to my grad school pittance), and a looming wedding, I have been making better efforts to avoid non-essential purchases.

I was especially tempted by the Firm Wave system. Recently, I have been working out as most soon-to-be-brides do. Typically, when I am in my fitness phases, I shower myself in exercise-related treats to keep myself motivated. I was about to enter my billing address on the Firm website, when I decided to convince myself that I have enough exercise equipment and this was not a necessary expenditure. Over the next few days, I went back and forth on the issue, until I saw the new issue of Newsweek on the break-room coffee table.

Yippee! It's not wasteful splurging! It's my civic duty. I checked my bank balance to ensure I had enough money to buy the system (buying things on credit is why we all here after all!) and Hey Presto...


Even better. In keeping with the Buy American provision of the Stimulus Plan...

Please Don't Stop the Music!

I need help! I'm getting married in a few months and I have done next to nothing as regards my music. I was sent a questionnaire by my DJ, which I half-filled out before losing it. My wedding is going to be a good mix of parent-aged guests, people our age and a handful of children. We're also pretty split down the middle for US-borne and Irish-borne guests. I need suggestions (or requests if you are a guest) for as many songs, artists etc. to keep people dancing. I'll take any advice from friends and strangers alike. Also, recommendations on the equally important "Do Not Play" list are also happily accepted.

Bed, Bath & Bewildered

This is basically an open Futue Te Ipsum to the folks at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I am getting married to my wonderful fiancé in June. While I am only interested in being married to the love of my life, gifts have become an integral part of weddings in modern society. Accordingly, I have set up gift registries for my guests. While I have a few items at the Target Club Wedd registry, I have the majority at my Bed, Bath & Beyond registry.

A few months ago, Faith, Carly, Aubrey and I went to set up my gift registries. I am not much of a home décor enthusiast and decided to avail of their sagely wedding wisdoms. We made a day of it and ended up knitting at the Indulgences Café. However, before we could treat ourselves to a sit 'n' knit, we had to get the tedious registering out of the way. Our first stop was Bed, Bath & Beyond. We were taken all around the store on an extensive tour by a very helpful store associate, with whom we chatted for about an hour. The key point is that nothing was omitted from his exhaustive description of the registry program. Almost nothing. The conversation also included many references to the fact that I am from Ireland, as are many of the invitees of my wedding.

I was thus a little irked when I received an email from one of my Irish guests saying they had attempted to purchase a gift from my BB&B registry but were unable to do so. They were precluded from doing so because are not US residents. Why, in this economic climate especially, would a company reject a consumer's attempt to give them profit? I doubt anyone is worried that BB&B could be used for international money laundering schemes, nor could any of their products be adapted for nefarious purposes.

I was scratching my head for rhymes and/or reasons, until it occurred to me that this may be a jurisdiction issue. If there were any rejected payments, BB&B would be unable set the bottom-feeding, sub-human, scum that is the private debt-collector on my guests in Ireland. If this is the reason, I find it aggravating, and quite frankly insulting, if it is the case that BB&B prioritize their right (legal, not moral) to assess usurious fines above good customer service. I am also furious that half of my guest list being unable shop from my gift registry was never so much as mentioned to me at the time I was creating my registry!

I have contacted BB&B for clarification, and I am awaiting a response. If this is a genuine error, or if they emend their policy, I will happily, and expeditiously, delete this post.

You Did Not Just Go There!

It is reasonable to assume that I am not part of the demographic the F150 commercials are trying to attract. I have on occasion referred to the purveyors of those poorly built (Jeremy Clarkson's opinion, not mine!) gas-guzzlers as bottom-feeding scum that lay waste to the future of our planet out of nothing but pure greed. I have not had much better to say about their loyal customers, and worse still for any lobbyist who thwarts those who try to shield mother nature from their environmental matricide.

However, full strength vitriol is energy consuming and I am not, by nature, an activist. Over time, I have scaled back my ire for these environmental hazards to feelings of smug superiority any time I see one on the road. I even felt a slight sense of karma when I saw one spin out on an icy day, and then felt guilty for the rest of the day.

Until I saw the new F150 commercial, that is. Wrath back! Bigger and angrier than ever before. See if you can guess what crossed the line for me!

A Day in March

This weekend was a lot of fun. My boss's wife, Gretchen, and I went to Minneapolis on my second ever yarn crawl. We started off the day at the Three Kittens yarn store in Mendota Heights. The sales assistants were really friendly and extremely knowledgeable about a number of aspects of the yarns they carried. They had a great selection of yarns, and more importantly, a large selection of yarns that I had never seen or heard of before. My favourite was a yarn that was 50% milk! I initially assumed this just had to be a typo, and so I asked the sales assistant. Nope, it was milk! I never ceased to be amazed what can be spun. I didn't buy any because I was specifically looking for yarn to make a sweater than I plan to make and monochrome yarns to make lacy socks with. I picked up some Fresco by Classic Elite Yarns which I think will become a pair of Monkeys or another pair of Hederas. If or when I visit them again, I may take a less regimental approach to shopping and come home with some milk yarn!!


Our next stop was Borealis Yarns in St. Paul. They have a huge range of yarns spread throughout 3 different rooms, which make for a lovely atmosphere. They had a good mixture of the mainstays as well as more novel yarns. Again, the staff were really friendly. I picked up some Cascade 220 which I intend to use for a sweater and some Cascade sock yarn which I had never come across before.




Finally, we went to Depth of Field yarns, which is obviously very important to visit as a microscopist! This store had a much more laid-back feel. The selection was great and they also carried a wide range of acid dyes. I am definitely going to visit them again when I give dyeing another go. Unfortunately, we shopped through lunch and by the time we got to depth of field, the hypoglycaemia had taken hold! I was completely indecisive, but managed to select some Shirley by Kraemer Yarns which I converted into a pair of newborn size Sheepy Pants on the drive home.


I then dyed them with some acid dyes I picked up in Kansas. The yarn is half cotton and half wool. I love how the yarn stained the fibres in different ways!

Ad Nauseum

I normally restrict this blog (still hate that word) to my knitting projects or the really mundane things that constitute my existence. Like, how big a pile of snow got or pictures of my new coffee mug. But it's good to branch out every so often, and so I thought I'd expand upon a pet peeve of mine. Televised commercials. Yes, I know, I am really departing from convention on that one. Who doesn't hate that the ad-makers sacrifice your living-room ambiance in favour of blaring volumes in order to compete for your attention, and ultimately your hard-earned cash? Worse still is the shear inanity of most commercials. Long gone are the halcyon days of the Hamlet commercials or drawn out teaser campaigns. No, bright and loud are what cut it now.
However, those are trite observations at this point. The more recent trend is to be completely inappropriate. Congratulations to both Verizon and Hardee's for their renewal of every negative stereotype of the Italian-American community. You know? The ones who have huge families, constant debt and Mafia ties (I learned everything I know about them from TV). Yet, that's a relative "after picture" of sensitivity training compared to Burger King's Whopper Virgin campaign. "They didn't even quite know how to pick it up." Wow. Way to make your taste test (versus McDonalds) as absolutely, and needlessly, tasteless as possible!
And if you're done figuratively vomiting in your mouth, why not do so literally? Seriously, why on earth did Mountain Dew think for a second that exploding giant bugs would entice us to ingest anything, never mind a product of that colour??
I wish they would pull all these recent offensive ads, and in their place, air footage of the advertising agency pitch meeting where someone suggests these campaigns, and no one in the room points out how atrocious they are. At least, I haven't seen that wretched Vehix woman in a while.

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