I want to put a couple of disclaimers here. First, this post may contain material that is offensive to some. Second, I am not a medical professional, so nothing I say should be construed as medical advice or information, even on the wildest of your poor life decision-making days.
I have had a strange pregnancy in that none of the symptoms I have had thus far hail from the standard schedule of vomiting and pickle-craving. Had I read more of the books in the maternity section, I might have been able to anticipate certain symptoms. But I didn't, so I couldn't. I was a little taken aback by some, and downright worried about others, so I thought I would document them here for any other insane hypochondriacs.
1. So Very Thirsty
Before I found out I was pregnant, I inexplicably developed a voracious appetite for water. This is particularly unusual for me, as I have never been a great water drinker. When thirsty, I usually opted for sodas, juice or coffee.* But all of a sudden, I wanted water and I wanted it by the gallon. It even got to the point that I was getting out of bed at 3 or 4 am to get a large glass of water. Being the ill-informed hypochondriac that I am, I decided this meant I had developed diabetes. We were trying to get pregnant at this point, so before condemning my pancreas, I googled the term "pregnancy thirst" and found that quite a number of people had reported this symptom. The general consensus is that your body increases its blood volume during maternity and needs the extra liquid to do so. The upshot of this new found water consumption is that my skin has never behaved better.
2. Vertigo
In a related note to #1, I had a spate of head rushes in early pregnancy. These tended to happen when I suddenly stood up. They were mild and never made me lose consciousness or fall over. I now reason this to my having diluted my blood volume with the entire municipal water supply. This really isn't a symptom I had never heard of before; I vaguely remember Gwyneth Paltrow's character in Sliding Doors getting dizzy when she was pregnant (sorry if you haven't seen that film).
3. Noses in Need
I have never had hay-fever or allergies in my life, so it came as a bit of a surprise when I started waking up with a runny nose and then sneezing my way through the day. My nose has since been in a constant state of runniness, despite the fact that summer and autumn have now both passed, leading me to believe this is not an allergic reaction to anything like pollen. The skin around my nose is dry from all the tissue abrasion and I worry that I will dehydrate from the amount of liquid I am losing in snot. I looked it up, and while rare, it seems to be a bona fide symptom of pregnancy. It is basically an allergic reaction without the allergic. I was a little upset to read that it may not clear up until a few weeks after the baby comes.
4. Tag, You're It!
I noticed a handful of times that I had a couple of skin tags. These were tiny, skin-coloured pieces of raised skin that I wouldn't normally notice were it not for my neurotic hypochondria. I won't even say what ridiculous life-threatening conditions I attributed them to, but a brief internet search later, I discovered that this is an innocuous and normal symptom of pregnancy. Speaking of changes to one's skin, the "discoloration of the nipples" that I have read about didn't turn out to be the even change in skin tone I had expected! Let's just say you'd be forgiven for thinking my nipples have freckles or have had an unfortunately asymmetric run-in with a curling iron!
5. Reverse Sympathy Pains
My husband hasn't had much by way of Couvade syndrome, but I have begun to sympathize with a uniquely male affiliation. Basically, I think I know what it feels like to be kicked in the family jewels. I talked to my midwife, and she assures me that because of the normal increase in blood-flow to "that area", swelling and discomfort often ensue. As a result, I don't like sitting for long periods and I have also started to waddle a bit.
6. A One-Sided View
Much to my delight, my bump has come in over the last month or so. I was really excited to start showing and now that it is even visible through my winter coat, I am thrilled. I have received a number of complements on how cute it looks right now and I enjoy catching glimpses of it throughout the day. The only thing that disturbed me was the fact that my bump sometimes would shift almost entirely to one side. Basically, the baby takes little day trips over to the left side of my uterus every now and then. I've been told that once she gets bigger this won't happen. Knowing that it is a normal occurrence, I now think it just looks a little funny. More importantly, I'm happy that she's not right-leaning!
7. I Am So Smart... S.M.R.T!
Pregnancy brain is a symptom that I had heard of before I experienced it. However, I had no idea how zany some of the things I would do would be. I found the nutmeg in the freezer; I made a second dinner for myself one evening, having forgotten about the first one; and I have become a complete slave to my iCal (think "guy from Memento"). This is basically and apology to anyone who I promised to do something for, or to whom calls are yet to be returned! There were other funny things that I did, and I remember thinking "That's funny, I should blog about it." But now, thanks to pregnancy brain, I can't remember what it was that I found so amusing.
All oddities aside, I enjoy being pregnant a lot. It's fun to know that a little person is growing inside you, and even more fun when they let you know they are there. I have also been blessed in that none of the symptoms I have had have caused me any real suffering like the nightmare that must be morning sickness. I just like to gripe about things for entertainment's sake and I hope maybe to allay the fears of anyone else going through a less than typical pregnancy!
* Prior to being pregnant, of course. These days, juice is all that remains on the menu.
Dec 8, 2010
Nov 10, 2010
I'm One Quarter Numismatist.
It's been a long time since I routinely kept paper money about my person. I tend to use either my credit card or cheques. My wallet has what could be best described as vestigial compartments for coins or banknotes, so when I break a note I have no real system in place to deal with the ensuing change. I tend to throw loose coins into my bag, my coat pockets or over my shoulder in the car with little interest in what becomes of them. The only times I ever follow up on my ducats are the rare occasions that I want something out of a vending machine. Then it becomes an all out scavenger hunt through my belongings to put together one dollar and five cents for a bag of crisps (chips). On one of these recent pursuits -I think on this occasion I wanted coffee -I realized that an oddly high proportion of my quarters were State quarters. I had four in all: Texas, Missouri, Montana and Indiana. I have never really paid much attention to the inscriptions on these quarters, but it struck me as a pity to spend so many at once (and, more importantly, I had enough in non-state quarters for my coffee). I took them back to my lab, and on my lunch break, I looked up what each of the inscriptions represents. I found a pretty neat website that has a brief description of each State's quarter. It seemed like a reasonably fun way to learn about each State. As I can get a lot closer to listing the fifty States than I can in listing the 26 counties of Ireland (on a recent attempt, I produced 19, two of which turned out to be towns), and as I will be taking my citizenship exam soon, it seemed like a moderately good idea to try and collect all 50 State quarters and read up on each one as I come across them. On my subsequent coffee trip, I was given 25¢ in change, which turned out to be the South Carolina State quarter. I should have been given 20¢, so I gave the teller 5¢ and checked the Palmetto State off my list.
Here's what I have learnt so far:
8. South Carolina
The Palmetto State, so named because a log cabin was built out of Palmetto trees by colonists in 1776 and used to hold off British soldiers. The coin has the shape of the state, a Palmetto tree, and a Carolina wren holding yellow Jessamine, all of which are state symbols. It is the eighth coin in the State Quarters collection because South Carolina, one of the original 13 colonies, was the 8th State to be admitted to the Union on May 23, 1788. Before gaining statehood, South Carolina was part of the Province of Carolina, named by King Charles II for his father, King Charles I, using the Latin of Charles: Carolus. Evidently, naming it the Province of Daddy-Issues was a little on the nose for Chuck. Not famed for putting chinks in the glass ceiling, South Carolina dragged its heels on ratifying the 1919 19th Amendment until 1969 (and not certifying that ratification until 1973). Only Mississippi joined the Missi-Voters later than South Carolina (1984!). State Capital: Columbia.
19. Indiana
The Hoosier State (#1 in ridiculous origin stories for State monikers) was the 19th State to be admitted to the Union on December 11, 1816. The coin face has a racecar (making it the only State with a palindromic symbol), the outline of the State, and nineteen stars to represent its position on the statehood time-line. The racecar symbolizes the Indy 500, which has been run every year since 1911, with the exception of the World Wars. Indiana has more miles of highway per square mile than any other State, a fact they are so proud of that "The Crossroads of America" is emblazoned across every license plate. So, if you want to stop somewhere to get gas, stretch your legs, and maybe grab a 32oz. Slurpee™ while en route to Grandma's for Thanksgiving, this is the State for you. State Capital: Indianapolis.
24. Missouri
The Show Me State was the 24th to be admitted to the Union on August 10th, 1821 as part of the Missouri Compromise. Basically, they could be a State and still sell slaves (Yay?). Accordingly, Maine was admitted as a Free State to keep the balance of Slave and Free States in the Senate. The State quarter has a depiction of Lewis and Clark returning along the Missouri River, with the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial/Gateway Arch in the background. The phrase "Corps of Discovery" on the coin refers to the body commissioned by Thomas Jefferson to explore what they had bought in the Louisiana Purchase (Missouri itself being part of that purchase). It came cheaply because Napoleon had a war to fund and was therefore a "motivated seller". This brought about the 1804-1806 Lewis and Clark Expedition which was the first overland trip to the Pacific Ocean (and back). Thank goodness for Eisenhower's 1956 Highway act, or it would still take us two years to get out to the West Coast by car. Now, the tedious trip down the freeway just feels about that long. Despite the many references to Thomas Jefferson in Missouri's history, he was from Virginia and never actually lived there. Rather, he set a lot of policies that impacted the history of the State. Nevertheless, it's fun to mention him because he is my favourite of the Founding Fathers (And, yes. I have an answer to that question. Suck it, Palin!). State Capital: Jefferson City.
28. Texas
The Lone Star State became the 28th State on December 29th, 1845. Its coin features an outline of the State with a single, or lone, star surrounded by a lariat (big rope). The lariat symbolizes the role of the Cowboy in Texan history. The pre-colonized Texas was home to many diverse peoples who lived in relative harmony, and the word Texas fittingly comes from the Caddoan word for "Friend". This cultural love-in would have continued, owing to a general disinterest on the part of European colonists in the region were it not for René Robert Cavelier de La Salle, whose miscalculations caused a settlement there, instead of along the Mississippi River, in 1685. His miscalculations were also the basis of the hit show in that era, "I'm a European, Get Me out of Here!", and the settlement was abandoned four years later. European colonization continued concurrently with turf wars between the colonists and Mexico, until the Republic of Texas was born in 1836. The Alamo happened after this, so the R.o.T's woes were far from over just because they called themselves a country. After defeating Mexico, the inevitable in-fighting began. Specifically, to join the Union or not? Mirabeau B. Lamar was a nationalist who wanted to keep the Republic of Texas, whereas Sam Houston was a proponent of the annexation of Texas to the Union. I don't want to spoil the ending for you, but Lamar county has a population of less than 50,000 touting Lamar's grave as its one and only landmark (according to Google Maps), whereas Houston is the largest city in the Texas (4th largest in the country) with a population of over 2 million. I'm loathe to make too many jokes about the Lone Star State, because I like many others have completely misinterpreted the trademarked (seriously, they sue!) anti-littering motto, "Don't Mess with Texas". State Capital: Austin.
41. Montana
The Big Sky Country joined the Union on November 8th, 1889. The coin features a Bison head, important to the indigenous Native American people of Montana, hovering over a representation of the State's landscape. Everything east of the Continental Divide (a diagonal line across the State formed by geological formations) came with the Louisiana purchase. I can't find any information on where the other half came from, so I'll have to assume it was a free gift for test-driving a covered wagon. Montana attracted fur-trappers and then gold-rushers in the 1860's. Evidently, the prospectors didn't bring many female traveling companions with them, because Montana has the third lowest population density of any State. That said, it's the bovine equivalent of Manhattan. Montana is politically a swing state, with a slightly bluish hue. Of current note is the democratic Senator Max Baucus who unveiled the Health Reform bill (meaning the so-called Obamacare would more accurately be referred to as Baucucare Bill). State Capital: Helena.
Phew, that was a long post. Assuming I don't get 75¢ in State Quarters when I next break a dollar, the future entries should be a bit shorter.
Here's what I have learnt so far:
8. South Carolina
The Palmetto State, so named because a log cabin was built out of Palmetto trees by colonists in 1776 and used to hold off British soldiers. The coin has the shape of the state, a Palmetto tree, and a Carolina wren holding yellow Jessamine, all of which are state symbols. It is the eighth coin in the State Quarters collection because South Carolina, one of the original 13 colonies, was the 8th State to be admitted to the Union on May 23, 1788. Before gaining statehood, South Carolina was part of the Province of Carolina, named by King Charles II for his father, King Charles I, using the Latin of Charles: Carolus. Evidently, naming it the Province of Daddy-Issues was a little on the nose for Chuck. Not famed for putting chinks in the glass ceiling, South Carolina dragged its heels on ratifying the 1919 19th Amendment until 1969 (and not certifying that ratification until 1973). Only Mississippi joined the Missi-Voters later than South Carolina (1984!). State Capital: Columbia.
19. Indiana
The Hoosier State (#1 in ridiculous origin stories for State monikers) was the 19th State to be admitted to the Union on December 11, 1816. The coin face has a racecar (making it the only State with a palindromic symbol), the outline of the State, and nineteen stars to represent its position on the statehood time-line. The racecar symbolizes the Indy 500, which has been run every year since 1911, with the exception of the World Wars. Indiana has more miles of highway per square mile than any other State, a fact they are so proud of that "The Crossroads of America" is emblazoned across every license plate. So, if you want to stop somewhere to get gas, stretch your legs, and maybe grab a 32oz. Slurpee™ while en route to Grandma's for Thanksgiving, this is the State for you. State Capital: Indianapolis.
24. Missouri
The Show Me State was the 24th to be admitted to the Union on August 10th, 1821 as part of the Missouri Compromise. Basically, they could be a State and still sell slaves (Yay?). Accordingly, Maine was admitted as a Free State to keep the balance of Slave and Free States in the Senate. The State quarter has a depiction of Lewis and Clark returning along the Missouri River, with the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial/Gateway Arch in the background. The phrase "Corps of Discovery" on the coin refers to the body commissioned by Thomas Jefferson to explore what they had bought in the Louisiana Purchase (Missouri itself being part of that purchase). It came cheaply because Napoleon had a war to fund and was therefore a "motivated seller". This brought about the 1804-1806 Lewis and Clark Expedition which was the first overland trip to the Pacific Ocean (and back). Thank goodness for Eisenhower's 1956 Highway act, or it would still take us two years to get out to the West Coast by car. Now, the tedious trip down the freeway just feels about that long. Despite the many references to Thomas Jefferson in Missouri's history, he was from Virginia and never actually lived there. Rather, he set a lot of policies that impacted the history of the State. Nevertheless, it's fun to mention him because he is my favourite of the Founding Fathers (And, yes. I have an answer to that question. Suck it, Palin!). State Capital: Jefferson City.
28. Texas
The Lone Star State became the 28th State on December 29th, 1845. Its coin features an outline of the State with a single, or lone, star surrounded by a lariat (big rope). The lariat symbolizes the role of the Cowboy in Texan history. The pre-colonized Texas was home to many diverse peoples who lived in relative harmony, and the word Texas fittingly comes from the Caddoan word for "Friend". This cultural love-in would have continued, owing to a general disinterest on the part of European colonists in the region were it not for René Robert Cavelier de La Salle, whose miscalculations caused a settlement there, instead of along the Mississippi River, in 1685. His miscalculations were also the basis of the hit show in that era, "I'm a European, Get Me out of Here!", and the settlement was abandoned four years later. European colonization continued concurrently with turf wars between the colonists and Mexico, until the Republic of Texas was born in 1836. The Alamo happened after this, so the R.o.T's woes were far from over just because they called themselves a country. After defeating Mexico, the inevitable in-fighting began. Specifically, to join the Union or not? Mirabeau B. Lamar was a nationalist who wanted to keep the Republic of Texas, whereas Sam Houston was a proponent of the annexation of Texas to the Union. I don't want to spoil the ending for you, but Lamar county has a population of less than 50,000 touting Lamar's grave as its one and only landmark (according to Google Maps), whereas Houston is the largest city in the Texas (4th largest in the country) with a population of over 2 million. I'm loathe to make too many jokes about the Lone Star State, because I like many others have completely misinterpreted the trademarked (seriously, they sue!) anti-littering motto, "Don't Mess with Texas". State Capital: Austin.
41. Montana
The Big Sky Country joined the Union on November 8th, 1889. The coin features a Bison head, important to the indigenous Native American people of Montana, hovering over a representation of the State's landscape. Everything east of the Continental Divide (a diagonal line across the State formed by geological formations) came with the Louisiana purchase. I can't find any information on where the other half came from, so I'll have to assume it was a free gift for test-driving a covered wagon. Montana attracted fur-trappers and then gold-rushers in the 1860's. Evidently, the prospectors didn't bring many female traveling companions with them, because Montana has the third lowest population density of any State. That said, it's the bovine equivalent of Manhattan. Montana is politically a swing state, with a slightly bluish hue. Of current note is the democratic Senator Max Baucus who unveiled the Health Reform bill (meaning the so-called Obamacare would more accurately be referred to as Baucucare Bill). State Capital: Helena.
Phew, that was a long post. Assuming I don't get 75¢ in State Quarters when I next break a dollar, the future entries should be a bit shorter.
Nov 8, 2010
10 things #7: Done and (half) Done!
I finished up the Yarn Over Cable socks by Charlene Schurch from Sensational Knitted Socks. I started a project with this pattern back in February, but during a house move, I managed somehow to lose it. I held out hope that it would turn up for quite a while, so moved onto project #8. By about October, I made peace with the fact that it was never coming back, so cast on again, this time with some very soft 100purewool I picked up in a coop many moons ago. I really like the description for short rows in this book, and having made 1.5 socks with the yarn over cable stitch, the rest of the pattern was second nature to me. The pattern definitely works better with solid yarn rather than the heavily variegated yarn I chose to use, but they are so comfy I don't really care!
That's Eight!
That's Eight!Oct 28, 2010
Here Come the Midterm Elections
The following quote sums up less eloquently than I ever could, how best to fix the problems in our democracy. It made so much sense to me that I thought it was worth transcribing. Sorry for the strong language.
"Here's a very sad truth. This system that we've created which we argue constantly is better than any government in the world. "We're number 1." This democratic society that we've created. I am more disappointed in this society and in this government that we've created around election time than I ever am. And that's the time you're supposed to be uplifted. That's the time you're supposed to be walking around [proud]. Oh, we should be preening. "Hey rest of the world, look at this democracy we've created!" And it's fucking nauseating right now! I've said it a million times. Here's the deal. You wanna run for something? You get no money. You get no commercial time. There's no anything. There's debate, and if you wanna learn about the person you go to the fucking library. And then people do this, they go, "Oh, well if you do that, then a lot of people aren't going to vote." Good! Fuck 'em! Well, what do we give a fuck? There's 300 million people in this country. So what? A hundred million people vote? That's not enough? 50 million people vote? If 10 million people voted for the presidency, but I thought they were intelligent, well-read folks that, by the way, took the time to get up, go to the library, read about the candidates, educate themselves, watch the debates, so on and so forth. If it was 1 million. And I thought it was 1 million of the best and the brightest, I'd be completely fine with that. It would be under 1% of society; I would still fine with that. I would not be amongst that 1 million. Thank you."
-Adam Carolla
"Here's a very sad truth. This system that we've created which we argue constantly is better than any government in the world. "We're number 1." This democratic society that we've created. I am more disappointed in this society and in this government that we've created around election time than I ever am. And that's the time you're supposed to be uplifted. That's the time you're supposed to be walking around [proud]. Oh, we should be preening. "Hey rest of the world, look at this democracy we've created!" And it's fucking nauseating right now! I've said it a million times. Here's the deal. You wanna run for something? You get no money. You get no commercial time. There's no anything. There's debate, and if you wanna learn about the person you go to the fucking library. And then people do this, they go, "Oh, well if you do that, then a lot of people aren't going to vote." Good! Fuck 'em! Well, what do we give a fuck? There's 300 million people in this country. So what? A hundred million people vote? That's not enough? 50 million people vote? If 10 million people voted for the presidency, but I thought they were intelligent, well-read folks that, by the way, took the time to get up, go to the library, read about the candidates, educate themselves, watch the debates, so on and so forth. If it was 1 million. And I thought it was 1 million of the best and the brightest, I'd be completely fine with that. It would be under 1% of society; I would still fine with that. I would not be amongst that 1 million. Thank you."
-Adam Carolla
Oct 27, 2010
A Love Story, as Told by Ravelry
I got extremely bored at work today, and as none of my friends have any new Ravelry activity, I took to reviewing my old projects. I realized that my relationship with my husband can be told through my knitting endeavours:
Dating
Engagement
and finally,
Marriage
It's a random observation, and likely a waste of your time to have made you read this. But, I am really that bored today. If you want to avoid future pointless musings - update your Ravelry project photos!
Dating
Engagement
and finally,
Marriage
It's a random observation, and likely a waste of your time to have made you read this. But, I am really that bored today. If you want to avoid future pointless musings - update your Ravelry project photos!
Oct 19, 2010
Calling All Mamas!
Huzzah, here comes the second trimester! By all accounts, I had a breeze of a first trimester but I still am mostly happy to see it gone! I only felt sick when I was not eating, so I just had to eat all the time (darn!). Other than mild nausea, the only other symptom was that I felt wiped out. I would make it through work, come home to collapse on the couch, where I would remain until a respectable 8.30pm at which point I would retire to my bed. While various aspects of my social life took a hit from this fatigue, the unexpected upshot of this symptom was that I didn't have the energy to stress out about anything. As a lifelong worrier, this was a delightful period of calm for me.
But that's over now. And true to form, a portion of my newly recaptured energy is being dedicated to coming up with things to worry about, and then worrying about them. Recently, my main focus is getting ready for the baby. I have most of the pregnancy/birthing concerns taken care of (with the exception of writing a birth plan and deciding upon the at-birth vaccinations). But what to do with our daughter once we get her home? I've been making a list of things I need to buy, but I am constantly stressed about missing something. So, I need help!
Here are things I have bought, or think I need to buy. Please, please comment or email me if there's anything I missed! Also, feel free to chime in on quantities of things I need, or great places to find things. Other advice and suggestions are welcome too!
Clothes
Diaper/Nappy Inserts (Where do you buy these??)
Diaper/Nappy Covers
Breast Pump
Bottles
Bottle Sterilizer
Baby Bath
Baby Bath Robe/Towels
Baby Hair Brush
Crib
Crib Sheets
Changing Station
Car Seats and Pram
Sleeping Sacks
Diaper Bag
Baby Wipes
Baby Lotion
Small Towels (for Spit-up)
Crib Mobile
Glider and Ottoman
Sling/Carrier
Thermometer
Max/Min Room Thermometer
Thanks for the help!!
But that's over now. And true to form, a portion of my newly recaptured energy is being dedicated to coming up with things to worry about, and then worrying about them. Recently, my main focus is getting ready for the baby. I have most of the pregnancy/birthing concerns taken care of (with the exception of writing a birth plan and deciding upon the at-birth vaccinations). But what to do with our daughter once we get her home? I've been making a list of things I need to buy, but I am constantly stressed about missing something. So, I need help!
Here are things I have bought, or think I need to buy. Please, please comment or email me if there's anything I missed! Also, feel free to chime in on quantities of things I need, or great places to find things. Other advice and suggestions are welcome too!
Clothes
Diaper/Nappy Inserts (Where do you buy these??)
Diaper/Nappy Covers
Breast Pump
Bottles
Bottle Sterilizer
Baby Bath
Baby Bath Robe/Towels
Baby Hair Brush
Crib
Crib Sheets
Changing Station
Car Seats and Pram
Sleeping Sacks
Diaper Bag
Baby Wipes
Baby Lotion
Small Towels (for Spit-up)
Crib Mobile
Glider and Ottoman
Sling/Carrier
Thermometer
Max/Min Room Thermometer
Thanks for the help!!
Sep 1, 2010
I Know that I Think that I Know
I'm pregnant!
It all began when my husband and I were travelling home from dropping off my mother to the airport. As is usual for me when my family members are leaving, I was a little sad. My husband has often tried to cheer me up with attempts ranging from moderate (ice-cream) to very poor (suggesting I get my fill of family by visiting the in-laws). On this occasion, he knocked it out of the park, by turning to me, suggesting that we have a romantic evening at home, light a fire, enjoy a film, and then (in his ridiculous British accent) try to "make a little baby".
I have heard so many times, that I now accept as canon, that the best way to get pregnant is to not* want to. The idea being that the stress of trying actually interferes with conception. This has been anecdotally proven by stories of people who desperately wanted children and turned to adopting. As soon as they received their adopted child -thus removing the stress of becoming parents -they conceived. So, I decided not to become neurotic about it, instead letting whatever was meant to happen occur. That resolve was met with, at best, abject failure. I'll edit for content, but highlights included shaking my ill husband awake because I had calculated I was at day 14 and making a Google calendar of my cycling and other pertinent activities (see ill-husband shaking). Neurosis 1, logic 0.
I should preamble the next section with the admission that I am a teensy bit of a hypochondriac. My mother is one, her parents before her and my doodle of a punnet square tells me this is a dominant trait. I was doomed to it. I once diagnosed myself with no less than three types of cancer during a single shower. "Is that headache on one side of my head, where did I get that bruise, have I always had that mole?" This hypochondria has easily translated to pregnancy, and there have been a number of occasions where I have convinced myself that I was pregnant.
Now that I actually wanted to be pregnant, my neurosis swung in the other direction, and I convinced myself that any symptoms were merely the result of my trying to have symptoms, and being a massive hypochondriac. After all, I had falsely thought myself to be pregnant before. This time, I felt a little nauseous, somewhat fatigued, thirsty a little more often, and I had an occasional head rush when I stood up. However, I reasoned, it was unseasonably hot which would certainly explain the thirst, sleepiness and occasional head rush. The queasiness was more likely than anything to be the result of ignoring my lactose intolerance in order to keep the ice-cream industry afloat.
The first time I actually knew that I was pregnant, I was walking to my workplace and, thanks to a dead iPod battery, was amusing myself with my own inner monologue (an analog podcast if you will). I thought about how I would tell people if I were pregnant. Suddenly, I pictured a baby inside me - with actual human features as opposed to larval amphibian phenotype it actually would have had at that time- and felt the most pure sense of happiness flood over me. This of course sounds like the most ludicrous diagnostic technique, but my mother had similar moments when she knew she had conceived. However, I then remembered that my mother had similar moments when she knew she had conceived, and chalked it up to another bout of wishful thinking.
I also found it a little odd that, when playing Guitar Hero with my husband and brother, I became so overcome with emotion during Taylor Swift's Love Story that I couldn't sing. It was during the bridge where she thinks it's not working only to be proposed marriage. "Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you but you never come, Is this in my head? I don't know what to think, He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, And said, marry me Juliet, You'll never have to be alone, I love you and that's all I really know..." I pretended that I needed to sneeze, and the two boys were so involved in their pretend instruments, they didn't notice. Also, they're men, so I was likely home-free even without the allergy charades. My rationalizing of this event was more simple in that I have quite a colourful history of crying at stupid stuff.
I was at this point about a week late, and the logical thing would be to take a test. But the neurosis had that one covered too. I had previously bought a set of two tests. This was before we were trying, but my desire to be a mother predates my husband being on board and I would have considered it a happy accident. I had convinced myself I was in "that way", and so, I was extremely disappointed that it came up negative. I promised myself that whenever I used the second test in the pack, it would be a positive. This self-consolation somehow evolved to a mandate, and I wasn't sure what the consequence of disobedience would be, but I didn't want to find out. So, I bided my time with pseudo-symptoms, longing to know if I was pregnant.
I had a rare moment of sensibility, I decided that not knowing wasn't making my chances of being pregnant any greater. In fact, it occurred to me that worrying my period into being late would actually delay my next cycle, thus reducing the number of times per year I could conceive**. I didn't want to anger the magical pregnancy test at home, so I went to the store and bought new ones.
When I got home, despite having had a full bladder for the past month, I was abruptly unable to go number one. Eventually, as my husband was leaving to play tennis, I was able to sneak off to the bathroom and take the test. I had bought a digital test to eliminate any confusion. Watching the little egg-timer blinking felt like an eternity. Then the egg-timer went away. I could swear the screen stayed blank for an hour before finally revealing the word "Pregnant". I ran out to my husband and told him the news (by shoving the urine-soaked stick into his face). We hugged and he left for tennis. And so it begins....
* please forgive the split infinitive. There was no grammatically correct way to put quite the same emphasis on actively having an absence of effort, which I guess shows how futile trying to "not do" something actually is.
** I should at this point apologise to the academic institutions that have given me science degrees for the shame I bringing to them throughout this entry.
It all began when my husband and I were travelling home from dropping off my mother to the airport. As is usual for me when my family members are leaving, I was a little sad. My husband has often tried to cheer me up with attempts ranging from moderate (ice-cream) to very poor (suggesting I get my fill of family by visiting the in-laws). On this occasion, he knocked it out of the park, by turning to me, suggesting that we have a romantic evening at home, light a fire, enjoy a film, and then (in his ridiculous British accent) try to "make a little baby".
I have heard so many times, that I now accept as canon, that the best way to get pregnant is to not* want to. The idea being that the stress of trying actually interferes with conception. This has been anecdotally proven by stories of people who desperately wanted children and turned to adopting. As soon as they received their adopted child -thus removing the stress of becoming parents -they conceived. So, I decided not to become neurotic about it, instead letting whatever was meant to happen occur. That resolve was met with, at best, abject failure. I'll edit for content, but highlights included shaking my ill husband awake because I had calculated I was at day 14 and making a Google calendar of my cycling and other pertinent activities (see ill-husband shaking). Neurosis 1, logic 0.
I should preamble the next section with the admission that I am a teensy bit of a hypochondriac. My mother is one, her parents before her and my doodle of a punnet square tells me this is a dominant trait. I was doomed to it. I once diagnosed myself with no less than three types of cancer during a single shower. "Is that headache on one side of my head, where did I get that bruise, have I always had that mole?" This hypochondria has easily translated to pregnancy, and there have been a number of occasions where I have convinced myself that I was pregnant.
Now that I actually wanted to be pregnant, my neurosis swung in the other direction, and I convinced myself that any symptoms were merely the result of my trying to have symptoms, and being a massive hypochondriac. After all, I had falsely thought myself to be pregnant before. This time, I felt a little nauseous, somewhat fatigued, thirsty a little more often, and I had an occasional head rush when I stood up. However, I reasoned, it was unseasonably hot which would certainly explain the thirst, sleepiness and occasional head rush. The queasiness was more likely than anything to be the result of ignoring my lactose intolerance in order to keep the ice-cream industry afloat.
The first time I actually knew that I was pregnant, I was walking to my workplace and, thanks to a dead iPod battery, was amusing myself with my own inner monologue (an analog podcast if you will). I thought about how I would tell people if I were pregnant. Suddenly, I pictured a baby inside me - with actual human features as opposed to larval amphibian phenotype it actually would have had at that time- and felt the most pure sense of happiness flood over me. This of course sounds like the most ludicrous diagnostic technique, but my mother had similar moments when she knew she had conceived. However, I then remembered that my mother had similar moments when she knew she had conceived, and chalked it up to another bout of wishful thinking.
I also found it a little odd that, when playing Guitar Hero with my husband and brother, I became so overcome with emotion during Taylor Swift's Love Story that I couldn't sing. It was during the bridge where she thinks it's not working only to be proposed marriage. "Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you but you never come, Is this in my head? I don't know what to think, He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, And said, marry me Juliet, You'll never have to be alone, I love you and that's all I really know..." I pretended that I needed to sneeze, and the two boys were so involved in their pretend instruments, they didn't notice. Also, they're men, so I was likely home-free even without the allergy charades. My rationalizing of this event was more simple in that I have quite a colourful history of crying at stupid stuff.
I was at this point about a week late, and the logical thing would be to take a test. But the neurosis had that one covered too. I had previously bought a set of two tests. This was before we were trying, but my desire to be a mother predates my husband being on board and I would have considered it a happy accident. I had convinced myself I was in "that way", and so, I was extremely disappointed that it came up negative. I promised myself that whenever I used the second test in the pack, it would be a positive. This self-consolation somehow evolved to a mandate, and I wasn't sure what the consequence of disobedience would be, but I didn't want to find out. So, I bided my time with pseudo-symptoms, longing to know if I was pregnant.
I had a rare moment of sensibility, I decided that not knowing wasn't making my chances of being pregnant any greater. In fact, it occurred to me that worrying my period into being late would actually delay my next cycle, thus reducing the number of times per year I could conceive**. I didn't want to anger the magical pregnancy test at home, so I went to the store and bought new ones.
When I got home, despite having had a full bladder for the past month, I was abruptly unable to go number one. Eventually, as my husband was leaving to play tennis, I was able to sneak off to the bathroom and take the test. I had bought a digital test to eliminate any confusion. Watching the little egg-timer blinking felt like an eternity. Then the egg-timer went away. I could swear the screen stayed blank for an hour before finally revealing the word "Pregnant". I ran out to my husband and told him the news (by shoving the urine-soaked stick into his face). We hugged and he left for tennis. And so it begins....
* please forgive the split infinitive. There was no grammatically correct way to put quite the same emphasis on actively having an absence of effort, which I guess shows how futile trying to "not do" something actually is.
** I should at this point apologise to the academic institutions that have given me science degrees for the shame I bringing to them throughout this entry.
Jul 5, 2010
Here Comes 100
It's a very important time in my life as a needle-worker. I am about to start my 100th* needlework project. I wanted to do something special, but then got all flustered when deciding what that special project is! So, I decided to outsource the decision making. I have quite a few WIPs under way (see right) that I will finish out before starting on this landmark project so there is time before I CO. Thanks for helping!
Links to the patterns:
1. Bunny-All-in-One
2. 110-41 Socks
3. Torreyana Shawl
4. Maze Socks
5. Cable Clock Socks
*as documented by Ravelry
Links to the patterns:
1. Bunny-All-in-One
2. 110-41 Socks
3. Torreyana Shawl
4. Maze Socks
5. Cable Clock Socks
*as documented by Ravelry
Update
Torreyana wins!Jul 4, 2010
10 things #8: Seven's M.I.A.
I finished another project in my 1000 day challenge. This time it's a cute little hat that I made from 101 Designer One-Skein Wonders. I used some leftover Socks That Rock medium-weight yarn remaining from a design project about which I still am waiting to hear back.
Number eight was completed ahead of number seven, owing to the tragic loss of seven at some point during our house moving excitement.
That's Seven!
Number eight was completed ahead of number seven, owing to the tragic loss of seven at some point during our house moving excitement.
That's Seven!Jun 5, 2010
Mar 27, 2010
Well, This Sucks!
Grumble. I broke my hand today. It's not looking good for my knitting in the near future. I will work on rigging my cast (it's in a splint until I meet with the orthopedic surgeon) with a knitting needle holder. But for now, I'm just going to feel sorry for myself.
Mar 20, 2010
Homer
My cat Homer died today. I wasn't with him, but my Mum was. I found out from a voicemail that he had passed. I don't know why this has hit me so hard- he was 12 after all -but it did. So, I decided to acknowledge his life in my blog.
I thought long and hard about how to write about my furry friend; whether to tell a linear tale about how he featured in my life or a more sentimental piece about what he meant to me. It all fell short and was deleted as quickly as it was written. I feel that my mother's email said all that could be said in words:
The vet confirmed that he had cancer and showed me the lab report... Anyway, he had to give poor Homer two injections of a valium type drug which Homer naturally resisted! It wasn't pleasant holding him while the vet did it, but Homer did soon relax and lay down and I petted him and the poor darling was purring as he died. His eyes glazed as the drug hit his brain and he was dead though his heart was still pumping and the vet was going to give him another shot, but the heart did stop then.
Homer died as he lived, a real sweetheart. Even as I had him in the cat carrier in the surgery waiting room, children gathered around him and said how lovely he was and poked their little fingers through the bars of the carrier to stroke him. I was trying not to cry, but Homer seemed to like their attentions.
I can honestly say I have never loved any animal as I loved Homer. He was a true friend, always there for me as I hope I was for him. He 'nursed' me in his catty way through my thyroid illness, fussing over me as I lay wearily on the bed and cheering me up greatly in his catty way. He always welcomed me back when I was away, almost tripping me up in his enthusiasm to greet me. He had a huge appetite for food, much greater and greedier than his brother's and a bit like me in that respect! He was gregarious and sweet natured, rarely bad tempered... All in all, he was the best cat that ever lived which I told him as his little spirit slipped away. Anyone who thinks that only human animals have a 'soul' is greatly mistaken.
Goodbye Homer.
I thought long and hard about how to write about my furry friend; whether to tell a linear tale about how he featured in my life or a more sentimental piece about what he meant to me. It all fell short and was deleted as quickly as it was written. I feel that my mother's email said all that could be said in words:
The vet confirmed that he had cancer and showed me the lab report... Anyway, he had to give poor Homer two injections of a valium type drug which Homer naturally resisted! It wasn't pleasant holding him while the vet did it, but Homer did soon relax and lay down and I petted him and the poor darling was purring as he died. His eyes glazed as the drug hit his brain and he was dead though his heart was still pumping and the vet was going to give him another shot, but the heart did stop then.
Homer died as he lived, a real sweetheart. Even as I had him in the cat carrier in the surgery waiting room, children gathered around him and said how lovely he was and poked their little fingers through the bars of the carrier to stroke him. I was trying not to cry, but Homer seemed to like their attentions.
I can honestly say I have never loved any animal as I loved Homer. He was a true friend, always there for me as I hope I was for him. He 'nursed' me in his catty way through my thyroid illness, fussing over me as I lay wearily on the bed and cheering me up greatly in his catty way. He always welcomed me back when I was away, almost tripping me up in his enthusiasm to greet me. He had a huge appetite for food, much greater and greedier than his brother's and a bit like me in that respect! He was gregarious and sweet natured, rarely bad tempered... All in all, he was the best cat that ever lived which I told him as his little spirit slipped away. Anyone who thinks that only human animals have a 'soul' is greatly mistaken.
Goodbye Homer.
Feb 20, 2010
FOlympics!
I entered, and completed the 2010 UFOlympics. In case you don't know what that means, it's a Ravelry group in which you declare one or more WIPs that are foundering. You work on them furiously between the opening and closing ceremonies, and get a gold medal if you finish everything you proposed during that time. I declared my baby blanket that I started back in July, and a grown-up's blanket that I was given. I am glad I joined the group as the two projects I declared for the event had been my guilty WIPs for quite some time! Now I am down to 2 WIPs, and I am contemplating COing another project.
Jan 14, 2010
A Tale of Two Mitties
It was the best of times, it was the worsted of ti... sorry. I am a slave to even the most belaboured of puns. Besides which, the knitting project I am going to speak about was made from sock weight yarn!
289 reprazent!
I made some mittens for a design collaboration with my friend, Kristine. Thankfully, I test knit the adult size, because they do not fit quite as well as I would have hoped. There is too much room above the fingers and not enough room between the cuff and the thumb, meaning they always feel like they are just about to fall off. I corrected the pattern and sent it off, but that left me with a pair of slightly ill-fitting mittens.
I was finally motivated to make a new pair when I started cycling, and was given the gift of an iPod (Thanks Ben!). Both activities necessitate the use of my hands, so I set about making a pair of Broad Street Mittens using the 100 Purewool Merino Fingering I purchased quite some time ago. The pattern has some gaps in the instructions, but I was able to improvise and I was really happy with the end product. The last part of the project was completed in Ireland, where my brother, Sam, saw them and asked that I make him a pair. I adapted the Knucks pattern, which has a child's size, and made him a pair in Noro Silk Garden Sock.
289 reprazent!I got back to the US, and wore my mittens all of twice before losing them. I searched high and low for them. I phone-stalked the Olive Garden I had been to that day, ransacked a friend's house and even had my realtor search her office for them. They were gone. I don't deal with loss at all, and found this particularly hard to cope with as I was homesick and they were a memory of a fun time with my brother.
I tortured myself with the idea of finding them for over a week before deciding that I had to come up with a more productive way of forgetting about them. I have more of the yarn I used to make them, so decided to reknit them in time for my Father and Brother's upcoming visit in February. I prefer the colourway of the new mittens and once I repose the silly photo of me and my brother in our matching FOs, I will be chock full of closure.
I just hope that someone out there is enjoying my orange mittens.
I just hope that someone out there is enjoying my orange mittens.
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